Greens 'n Cornbread

Lindley Woodford

2010-07-13T13:27:00.002-04:00

A week ago last Saturday an era came to a close. You'd think the world would have shook, but there was nary a tremble. My father in-law, Lindley Woodford, passed away.

I met this man at the Kansas City airport 3 days before I married his daughter. Our first encounter included a trip to the Jackson County courthouse in Kansas City where we were granted a waiver on the normal waiting period before being given a marriage license. He drove, I sat in back, and I don't recall much of anything being said.

I proposed to his daughter 3 months previously - you'd think he'd be full of questions and stern fatherly warnings for someone about to marry his erstwhile favorite daughter. He didn't. Instead he pointed out various points of interest while on the way to the courthouse. This was to lay the foundation for our relationship for the next 25 years.

He was a quiet man. Tall, gentle, and a devout Christian. In the truest sense of the word. He was tolerant of all, accepting of most, using his dry humor to test each of us. He liked to drop quiet little bombshells to test the waters of our beliefs. He liked to tease. Being soft-spoken, my (at the time) young daughter would often ask that he repeat himself. He would tell her she was a little girl who could not hear. Fed up with the taunt, she once responded that he was an old man who could not talk. He would repeat that back to her occasionally as she grew up. I think he found it funnier than we did.

With me being in the military, we moved a good bit and visited when we could. He and I shared an interest in military history and this led to many a discussion. His father (and uncles, too, I believe) served in world war one, and he served in world war two. He was a sheet metal mechanic in the Army Air Corps in Africa and Italy, working on various aircraft. He had 3 brothers, all of whom served in the military. He transcribed his father's war diaries and collected the war-time experiences of his brothers, entering them all into Word documents which he then printed, bound, and distributed to various family members. I have my copy stored in my desk.

After the war he worked for the government as an inspector, checking on the production of various war materials. He eventually became a tool and die maker. He met and married Ellen Kennedy in 1948 and they had 8 children. They came in 2 waves with a 10 year break in between the first 5 and last 3. 7 girls, 1 boy. I married Laura, oldest of the younger 3. There are 5 surviving daughters and his one son, 4 of which live in or around Kansas City. Holidays were always celebrated at his house, filled to overflowing with children, grandchildren, and eventually great-grandchildren. I don't know what Thanksgiving or Christmas will be like without him to provide the center, our center, the unquestioning focus of the family gatherings.

He was in many ways typical of his generation. He provided for his family and his wife kept their home and raised their kids. There was that clear separation of duties - all things domestic was her responsibility including supper on the table when he arrived home from work. About 11 years or so ago, soon after he retired, his wife Ellen started to have a series of increasingly debilitating strokes. It wasn't long into this that she ceased being able to take care of him. So, he took care of her. It was as if he had done it all of his life. He not only took care of her, but he took to keeping house as if born to it. He had the kitchen remodeled to suit him. He bought every kitchen gadget he encountered. He would ask his daughters for their recipes and would approach them with the same diligence he did when designing a new die. How many minutes at what temperature, how many times and when do you turn it? He made notes and tried his own variations. He tested various cleaning methods and materials, finding those he felt did the best job. He bought a Dyson vacuum cleaner when it came out.

In between these new domestic duties, he nursed his wife. He quietly teased her into doing her mobility exercises. Her strokes slurred her speech and he would pick at her until she would "yell" at him - for once forming her words clearly and correctly where everyone could hear her. He'd kiss her forehead and ask her what she was hollering for. Towards her end, he would sit by her bed, hold her hand and talk to her in his quiet way. He fed her, cleaned her up, shifted her so as to avoid bed sores night and day - all the while silently whistling some tune only he could hear. He never questioned this change in circumstances, but merely did what was necessary. I've not met a man more devoted to his wife than he.

Another thing he did after retiring was discover computers and the internet. He scoured garage sales for cast-off computers. He'd clean them up, reload operating systems and software, and then give them away to his (now grown) children. He was downloading music from Napster before they were shut down. He would make CDs and hand them out. He discovered movie-discs and players as well as eBay at about the same time, buying up old players and refurbishing them. He had contacts all over the U.S. for parts and repair advice. He bought out a local library's entire collection of movie discs. He did nothing by half.

He was always giving things away. When one of his daughters moved back to town, she asked to borrow his lawn mower. He then went, bought him another, and gave her the one she borrowed. When a microwave went on the blink, he "loaned" his out, bought a new one to replace it, giving the loaned one to the borrower. Laura went to help nurse her mother towards the end of her life. He had bought a jeep (a deal too good to pass up), but was unhappy at the stiff suspension. He gave it to my wife when she came home.

Lindley was 86 and full of life last December when he got a cold. The persistent cough would not go away. After about 2 months they x-rayed his chest and found cancer. 4 months later he was dead. He always said he didn't want to linger, laying in bed day after day not able to do anything for himself. When the initial radiation treatment did nothing to prevent the cancer from spreading, he stopped the treatment and decided it was time. He had had a good life and was not of the mind to linger over-long. He didn't. His passing was fast and peaceful.

He lived his live in such a way as others only aspire to. He was the most honest man I knew. His faith was unwavering. He was even-tempered, I never once heard him raise his voice or respond angrily to anyone. He had a ready, if sharp, wit. He had a restless intelligence, always asking questions seeking new answers.

You don't think of these things as extraordinary when they are around you. He was my father in-law for 25 years and while recognizing that he wasn't your run-of-the-mill man, he was just there - Laura's dad. Now that he is gone and there is a void in our lives, I see the truth of who he was in effect he had on others - and on me.

He is now at rest, and such answers as can be had I think he has found.

Here we go again

2008-10-30T02:02:00.003-04:00

Well - I'm in Bahrain again. I left home last weekend. Last time I flew direct from Atlanta to Dubai - over 14 hours in the air. argh. (I will have that to look forward to on the way home. argh) This time, however, I flew to Amsterdam, had an 8 hour layover and then flew here. Since I had such a long layover, I was determined to see something. As I was walking between terminals I ran across a tour booth advertising 2 and 3 hour tours. Serendipity struck, I whipped out my credit card and off we went. There were 7 of us in a mini-bus. The tour started at a wooden shoe factory, then out to the country where we saw various windmills and sheep and assorted waterlogged countryside. We drove into Amsterdam and around, then finished up with an hour's cruise through the canals. Despite the overcast, chilly (since I was heading to a hot climate I didn't bring a coat with me, I was in short-sleeves) and wet morning I had a good time and turned what was going to be a long and boring layover into a (seemingly) short and enjoyable one.

(I would've posted pictures, but even though blogger acted as if they uploaded - they didn't. So, here's a link to the set.)

Tag, I'm it.

2008-10-14T13:55:00.003-04:00

The lovely (but deluded) Astrogirl426 from Notes from the Bunker has tagged me (she claims to heart my blog - I think she's been living in the woods too long) and I am to relay 6 random facts about myself. I will attempt to reveal something new about myself, but most of you have been around here long enough to know ~~all~~ most of my secrets.

1. I moved 9 times between birth and 15 years, living in 4 states (MS, CA, GA, TX) and 1 foreign country(Germany). I have moved 7 times since then, living in 4 states (GA, CA, TX, MD) and 1 foreign country (Greece). In and amongst all of that I have visited, driven through, or otherwise took up space in 27 other states, the District of Columbia, and 7 other foreign countries.

2. I got to fly an Air Force T-37 jet trainer.

3. I was born a poor, black child*.

4. I had a part-time job that involved moving equipment from building to building between passes of soviet spy satellites.

5. I have stood on the point from which every distance in France is measured.

6. I ran into Dudley Moore in a McDonald's in Pacific Grove, CA. He was even shorter than he looked in the movies. I ran into Stevie Wonder coming out of an ice cream store in Monterey, CA. I waved but he didn't wave back, the stuck-up b@st@rd.

As usual, I don't tag people. If any of you are game, have at it.

*if you recognize this, you're as old a fart as I am.

There, but for the grace of God......

2008-09-21T14:37:00.002-04:00

I have been reading "Things I Learned About My Dad (in therapy)", a compilation of essays on fatherhood compiled & edited by Heather Armstrong. I was struck particularly strongly by Doug French's essay. I remember several months ago when he went public in his blog about his impending divorce (because of it being mentioned in his essay in the book). It has always been readily apparent to me in reading his blog (and the essay) that he loves his boys very much and really enjoys being a father. Reading the essay re-awoke in me the memories of a time in my marriage when we came close to divorce. Laura had moved out. The kids stayed with me in our home as it was least disruptive of their daily routines - school, etc. Since they stayed with me during the week, they spent the weekends with Laura. During the week I was kept busy with taking care of two elementary school-aged kids, fixing meals, cleaning the house, laundry, working, etc. Then Friday afternoon the kids would be gone, and my weekends were a vast wasteland of nothingness. I had been on business trips before, a week at a time, sometimes two, but that time away affected me nothing like this did. I couldn't believe how much I missed the kids. I'm sure that it was partially due to the knowledge that this was probably going to be permanent. But whatever the reason, there was an ache that I couldn't assuage. I tried to tell myself that this was better for the kids, not having to grow up living in a house where their parents didn't love each other. They would grow up happier, Laura and I would be better parents without the emotional chaos that our marriage had turned into, etc. But there was still the emptiness inside of me, knowing they would be like so many other children having separate sets of parents, vacations divided between homes, everything having to be negotiated.

I had told Laura early in our marriage, during a discussion about how so many couples during (and after) divorce use their kids to torture their exes, that I would never let anyone take my children away from me. It wasn't an ultimatum so much as it was a statement that I would ALWAYS be there for my children, a major force in their lives. At the time I never thought we would get to where we had, living apart and discussing divorce. During that 6 month separation we never fought in front of them, and none of the fights were about them. We always put them first, We both went to school events they were involved with. We both attended their soccer games. We discussed rules for them and disciplinary actions - if they were being punished for something, the punishment applied at both homes. Despite this, it still pained me, knowing the inevitable hurt the kids were going to experience because Laura and I couldn't stay together.

Of course, we did stay together. Laura and I resolved those differences as you all know (I am assuming that no one is reading this post during their first visit to this blog!) as we are still married. But I still carry that hurt around, deep in my memories of that time. It makes me especially sensitive to similar situations when small kids are involved. Doug writes so eloquently of fatherhood and what he is experiencing during this difficult time in his life. I hurt for him, having some small measure of knowledge of what he is experiencing.

I had almost forgot.

Annie get your gun

2008-09-04T21:02:00.003-04:00

I don't discuss politics here, nor am I going to start today. But I do want to talk about what I am learning about myself within the context of the new vice-presidential candidate of the Republican party - Ms. Sarah Palin.

I find myself wondering if I am more of a sexist than I thought I was.

I have no problem with a woman in the White House - in either job, president or vice-president. I have no problem with a woman having any job - not even in combat on the battlefield. (I've always felt that women as well as men should have to sign up for the draft - ever since I did when I turned 18. Israel, for instance, has mandatory military service, women included.)

My problem with Sarah Palin originates with the fact that she has a baby with down's syndrome and I can't understand why she would want a job that will take virtually all of her time - away from her baby. That's where the sexist part comes in, because I wouldn't have had a thought about her husband pursuing such a demanding job as governor or vice-president.

I've always prided myself that I consider women as equals. I remember having an essay I wrote arguing for equal rights when I was a junior in high school printed in the local newspaper. I always tried to instill in my daughter as she grew up the attitude that she can do anything she set her mind to. I have never subscribed to the clap-trap that women are the weaker sex and are fundamentally incapable of performing certain jobs. It upsets me that to this day women don't earn the same pay for the same work as men - and therefore have to work harder to get promoted when competing with men for a job.

But I am having a hard time understanding why a mother of a down's syndrome child would choose to work if she didn't have to. I don't know what their finances are, but the Palins don't appear to be poor. Mayors of small towns usually don't draw a large salary but have the same duties as large-town mayors. Nor does Ms. Palin appear to be a career woman who was checking off the "have a child experience" on her life's list - after all, she has 5 children and didn't run for office until after she had had several children. I have no reason to think that her husband can't take care of the baby, and I don't actually know if he isn't already taking full-time care of the child. I don't know anything about who takes care of their baby when she is governing or campaigning for vice-president, which is another reason why I'm uncomfortable with my feelings toward her and her decision to run for vice-president.

I just can't help thinking that her political career is more important to her than being the primary care-giver of that child. This is where I guess my buried sexism is coming out. I am disappointed in myself.

I don't know if she should have given up her governorship to take care of their baby. But I've always had the belief that children should be raised by their parent. In today's economy I realize that is extremely difficult - it usually takes two incomes to survive. Laura and I were lucky in that we were able to afford for her to stay at home until the kids were in school. We certainly couldn't afford to do that now, though. I have always felt that women deserve the same opportunity as men to pursue a career. I have always thought that men were as capable as women to care for infants, so no - I don't think that it is a woman's place to raise the babies while the men work. I just think that the best person to raise a child is its parents. When possible.

So, maybe Mr. Palin (I assume that's his name) is a full-time dad to their down's syndrome baby, freeing Ms. Palin to pursue her political ambitions. Or maybe Ms. Palin feels that she has a unique contribution to make to politics and has therefore a higher calling to answer.

Or maybe I am just failing to truly understand equality for the sexes and that mothers everywhere are proud to see her as their potential vice-president, that she is raising the ceiling for mothers everywhere. All I really do know is that I have a lot of thinking and learning ahead of me in order to not see her as someone who is putting her interests ahead of her baby's. Of all of the discussion I've seen in the media with regard to her being on the Republican ticket, no one has mentioned this in particular.

Please understand that I don't have a problem with working mothers. My problem is with a working mother of a special needs child who appears to have the choice of staying home if she wanted.

I am seriously wanting the unvarnished opinion of everyone who reads this blog. Have I lost my feminist credentials here? (Or maybe had I never had them?)

college days

2008-08-25T13:04:00.007-04:00

I meant to write this last Friday as it was prompted by the most recent Poetry Friday challenge. But - I wouldn't want to start a trend by blogging on schedule, or anything. I might garner a few regular readers if I did something like that - which is anathema to my blogstyle of whatever-whenever.

anyway.

I, like most folks, have done a few things that I probably shouldn't have when I was in college.

My dorm was right across the street from the chapel. Every Sunday morning for about an hour before services the pastor would sit on the front steps of the chapel and play hymns over the loudspeakers. This somewhat annoyed those trying to sleep off a Saturday night's debauchery, myself sometimes included. Well, one Saturday night we returned to our dorms somewhat worse for wear and someone brought up the hymn-playing disruption of our Sunday-morning sleep-in. During the following discussion a plan was formed that, in our inebriated state, we thought would put a stop to these recitals. We sneaked into the church via an unlocked window and pulled the cassette tape that was queued in the public address system. We took it back to the dorm and recorded some rather earthy Frank Zappa over the middle of the tape and returned the tape to the church. Alarms were set so we wouldn't miss the new music and we went to bed. The next morning we straggled out and gathered on the front steps of the dorm and waited. And waited. And waited. We sat there until services started and the music was stopped. No Frank Zappa. We retired to bed disappointed and seeking hang-over remedies.

Three weeks later I was walking to work Sunday morning, having lost the weekend work shift lottery. I was passing the front of the chapel, having just waved to the pastor, when the music hiccuped and Frank Zappa came blaring out in all his inappropriate glory. The pastor look confused, and he must have started to understand what he was hearing because he leapt up and ran inside. A second or two later the music stopped. I almost tripped over myself laughing as I continued to work.

We didn't manage to shut down our Sunday morning concerts, the hymns continued next Sunday on schedule. But I'll bet the windows were locked after that.

when I was a kid.....

2008-08-15T11:52:00.003-04:00

When I was growing up, I lived on my bicycle. There was no sitting in front of the TV, Atari hadn't come out yet, nor had PCs, so no video games to play for hours on end. Mom would throw us out of the house and told us to go play. It was good for us (and we were out of her hair). So, we would get on our bikes and take off looking for the other kids who had similarly been unceremoniously thrown out.

We would be gone for hours. We would ride up and down the street seeing who could pop a wheelie the longest. We would build ramps and pretend to be evel knievel, jumping for distance or jumping over each other. (I once jumped 6 kids. we were uncommonly stupid then, and I had scars on my elbows and knees for years to prove it). We would search the ditches for coke bottles and go to the store, redeem them and use the money to buy ourselves a coke.

We would take off to explore neighboring communities, getting ourselves lost and spending the afternoon finding our way back home. During the fall and spring we would ride our bikes to school. We would put sissy bars on them, extend the forks to make choppers, put 6-foot antenna-like poles that had flags on (That would trip us up when trying a rolling dismount). We'd put playing cards on with clothes pins so they'd flap in the spokes and pretend this was the motor and we were riding motorcycles.

Do kids do these things today? I rarely see kids out riding bikes in my neighborhood. My bike was a ticket to independence. When it was taken away for punishment, it HURT! I was trapped - all I could do was stand by and watch the others have fun. I see kids walking down the sidewalk, one or more talking on a cell phone, on their way somewhere. I don't see them on bikes.

It's a shame, really. Within weeks of moving into a new house, I knew the neighborhood like the back of my hand. I met the kids in the neighborhood 'cause they were out riding too. Our moms didn't get together and organize play-dates or stuff like that - we just rode around and found someone else who was outside and played. It seems like these days everything is so tightly organized, all of kids' time is scheduled down to the minute.

Do kids just go outside and play anymore?

As I was saying......

2008-08-08T16:58:00.003-04:00

Well, hello there. anyone? anyone?

I took some time off, trying to decide if I really am a blogger, or a blogger wanna-be. I mean, there are blogs that I read because merely because they are well written and invariably entertaining. There are other blogs I read that go beyond this, they are written by people I feel a connection to and I want to keep up with what's going on in their lives. These are the blogs where I feel drawn to comment and these are the ones that inspired me to write my own blog, so I could share something of myself and my experiences beyond the smidgen of space allowed in a comment.

Blogging had given me a way to join what I saw were interlocking circles of friends. People whom not only commented on each others blogs but exchanged emails, IM's, or even phone calls on the side. A very few even visited each other. For a while I experienced this myself, and felt I really had made a some new friends. And then - I hadn't. There were a few people that faded out of that circle, that moved on leaving me behind. These were people that I had regular contact with outside of the realm of blogging, one of which I had actually met. I thought I had made some real friends and it turned out I hadn't.

As you can imagine, this was really disappointing. It made me really wonder about myself. Had I mistaken the depth of the connection? Had I done or said something that drove them away? I mean, I realize that things can go great until a certain point is reached and then something stops clicking or something becomes apparent that causes the other person to decide to back away. But what? In some ways I felt like a teenager again - unsure of anything or anyone. So I took some time off to see if I could figure it out.

I didn't reach any conclusions with regard to my lost friendships, but I did come to a few other realizations.

I missed you guys. I shouldn't abandon this community just because I was disappointed. And - I DO have some friends out there that don't deserve my abandoning them. So, I slowly started back. At first I used my reader to lurk here and there. Then I started posting an occasional comment where I couldn't not. And recently I found myself reading all of you again - but it wasn't the same. Because I wasn't participating.

So - I'm going to stop lurking, start commenting, and maybe even start writing a post here and there. Not that I'm a great writer, or have a burning within me to impart some important message. But I am a part of this and want to share it with you. I hope that there are a few of you that still care enough to read, but if not - well, it's my own damned fault and I can live with that.

TTFN

2008-06-17T10:20:00.002-04:00

I am taking a break from blogging. I find myself with nothing to share and would rather say nothing than ramble for the sake of posting. As this has been gradually happening anyway, I am sure this isn't much of a surprise to anyone. I have been aware these past months of a dearth of decent content here and am now formalizing the foregone conclusion.

I am also cutting back on my blog reading. I need a break. I might dip my toe into the pool every so often, though.

I am leaving the blog up for now. My email address is at the top right of this page should anyone have something to share.

I shall miss you all.

Then and Now

2008-05-21T19:17:00.000-04:00

Then:

Spring in Paris.

Now:

deburred shoulder.

my job

2008-05-05T17:41:00.000-04:00

I know that I was lucky to keep my job. One of the options was to outsource all of the IT department. I know that I am better off than those who were told their jobs were eliminated - at least I am right now. I know that I have bills to pay and a family that depends on me to earn a living that keeps us fed and a roof over our heads.

But that doesn't mean that I have to like the changes taking place. Where else can I bitch about it if I can't do it in my own blog?

I think it sucks that people who have worked here a long time, some over 30 years, others who were hired at the same time I was, have been told their jobs are being given to someone overseas. I think it sucks that every time I fly overseas I am making it easier for this company to shut down another domestic plant and between 300 and 400 of my friends and neighbors lose their jobs. I think it sucks that, having seen the costs associated with outsourcing production, this company could've been more competitive and kept on manufacturing domestically - to a certain degree. Outsourcing isn't inevitable.

I see those around me who are going to be leaving send out resumes and know that a difficult time in their lives have just begun, but I also wonder if the jobs they will be getting are more secure than the one I have now. Who's to say that, having made the decision to outsource part of IT, management won't decide next year to outsource the rest of it? How secure is my job?

Yes, there are things I can do about that. I could elect to job hunt myself, look for another, more secure job. I might. But I'm not right now, I'm not ready. I still feel a vestige of responsibility to the people who rely on me and the knowledge I've accumulated over the last 18 years. I'm not ready to fix my house up to sell. I'm not ready to consider a commute knowing the cost of gas and time it would incur. I'm not ready to sell myself to someone else. I'm not ready.

I can elect to have a better attitude about the whole thing. I will have a better attitude about the whole thing. Given some time to accept the change.

But in the mean time, If I've appeared bitchy & whiney in my last few posts, well, dammit, I am for the moment. I'm allowed. its my party and I'll whine if I want to.

good news, bad news

2008-05-02T15:37:00.002-04:00

The good news is that I am keeping my job.

The bad news is that they are cutting over half the IT people and their function will be outsourced to India.

I was the only manager who told their direct reports that their job had been eliminated. The other managers left it to the director and CIO. I couldn't understand it. I had no input into who stayed or went, but these were my people and I felt a responsibility to be there when they were told.

The blow was lessened somewhat by them not having to leave immediately. The company we are outsourcing to is bringing in people to learn the jobs of those who are leaving. Some key people were given an incentive to stay until the knowledge transfer is complete. The others still have a few months before they have to leave. They say it is easier to find a job if you have one, so I really hope that they do.

I feel like absolute crap. Some of these people have been with this company 30+ years. One woman is the sole support for several of her kids and grandkids. Another's wife just lost her job too. We live in small town and there aren't that many IT jobs here, and hardly any that pay what these people earn here.

The transition plan in its current state will give those who were asked to stay their job until mid-December. But it might change. maybe shorter, but probably longer. Still - I told my people not to turn down any decent job offers. If they stay until told to go, they will get the severance benefit (one week pay per year of service (but this company in its current incarnation has only been in existance for not quite 3 years), compensation for any untaken vacation and COBRA coverage. The incentive to stay until told to go adds to this: a small bonus (about a month's pay, some more a few a bit less).

The company has applied for TAA coverage (jobs eliminated due to NAFTA) and if it is granted there will be some benefits (a tax deduction for part of their COBRA insurance dues, unemployment insurance for longer, potential tech school training and if their new jobs pay less than their current, additional compensation for some period of time.

But they only earn these benefits if they stay until the company tells them to leave. If they quit, then they quit and no benefits whatsoever.

my job sucks sometimes. I wonder who is better off - them or me.

and the beat goes on....

2008-04-28T23:25:00.004-04:00

surgery. tah dah. Doc thinks that the impingement is what is causing the pain. so, break out the arthroscope and take a look. he anticipates griding some bone off of the bottom of my clavicle to make more room in the joint, thus reducing the impingement.

I've had a few surgeries before, but as it happened both were accomplished with the equivalent of local anesthesia (spinal blocks and twilight shots). this will be the first time I will have been put out using general anesthesia and I'm a little apprehensive. I wish I could be awake, I'd like to see the surgery, weirdly enough. I wonder if he has tivo?

Meanwhile we are still working on our itinerary for Paris. The eiffel tower, of course - but at night or during the day? eat a the restaurant there? We've decided to eat most of our meals out at lunch, as prices are cheaper. We can do a bread, wine, fruit & cheese thing for supper either out somewhere or in our room. There is the place that only serves one dish - steak w/fries - the only thing you tell the waiter is how you like your steak cooked. There is also (you fans of Harry Potter aught to get a kick out of this) a restaurant in the home of Nicholas Flamel (or named after him or something like that - Laura knows but is napping right now). There is also the restaurant in the catacombs (amongst the bones?) and the restaurant that specializes in hog knuckles (or something like that - I should have waited for Laura to wake up to write this). And, as we are staying in Monmartre, there is always the little brasserie that Amelie worked in - a possibility, especially if we take a gnome with us. Anyway - food is an important part of our trip!

We are definitely going to Versailles, that will take a whole day. I'd also like to spend one day in the country somewhere outside of Paris. (someplace that is too beautiful for Bob to have come from). Laura offered to let me include The beaches at Normandy, but sites such as this are my fascination, not hers, and I'd hate to spend a whole day (and possibly more) on myself. The Louvre will also probably be most of a day. We will probably go to either Sacre Coeur or Notre Dame, and most probably a ride down the Seine.

All of a sudden, 7 days is not so long after all.

A foggy day, in London town...

2008-04-22T14:07:00.003-04:00

....meaning it's the same-old, same-old around here.

I have these pain pills I take before I go to bed so my shoulder won't wake me up with the impulse to cut it off immediately. The pain of the amputation would both distract me from the pain in my shoulder and it at least would go away eventually. In the moments between when the meds take affect and when I drift off to sleep I write these wildly elaborate blog posts in my head, meandering from topic to topic that are so clearly within everyone's experience that I would garner many comments regaling me on my observations and my profound way of summing up everyman's life experience in such a succinct way.

And the next day you are subjected to this. dreck.

Nothing much is happening around here. All we lack getting ready for our trip to Paris next month are purchasing some cheap sunglasses that, should they be lost, won't be missed. Laura is still working on her french, she is loath to be in the same situation as last year in Versailles - having TO GO really badly and not understanding the french directions to the loo in the back forty somewhere or another. Euros were purchased last month, not in time to get ahead of the tanking dollar, but ahead of this month's tank. We bought a street map Sunday and are finalizing our itinerary. We are staying in Montmartre and going hither and yon on the metro.

As for my shoulder, I moved my next appointment up to this Friday as the cortisone might as well have been water for all of the good it did. We will see.

Round Two

2008-04-14T22:09:00.004-04:00

***updated below***

"There is a small degenerative subchondral cyst seen at the greater tuberosity. There is marginal hypertrophic involvement involving the acromioclavicular joint consistent with marginal impingement. There is no definite abnormal joint effusion. I cannot confirm any tear of the supraspinatous tendon. The long head of the biceps tendon is intact. There is no subcutaneous edema. There is some irregularity of the anterior labrum. There could be an anterior labral injury.

Impression:
I. Possible anterior labral tear.
II. Marginal hypertrophic changes of the AC joint causing marginal impingement.
III. No definitive rotator cuff tear.
IV. Degenerative subchondral cyst identified at the humeral head near the greater tuberosity. If shoulder pain persists, shoulder arthrogram and MR arthrography may be indicated.

so - off to see an orthopedic specialist tomorrow.

update
wait and see. got a shot and made an appointment to return in 3 weeks.

Here Comes the Party! WOOT!

2008-04-11T23:45:00.003-04:00

My weekend: Saturday starts at 5:30 AM when I get up and head for work. We have to implement a project we've been working on since January. If everything goes well, I'll be home by 4:00 PM. Saturday night will be either British comedies on the local PBS channel or - Police Squad. My son gave me a DVD with the original TV show episodes. either way, a good way to wind down after a tense day at work. Well, that and maybe a fermented beverage or three. Sunday will be lawn day - I can't put off the back yard any longer.

Exciting, huh?

I hope everyone in blogland has a good weekend.

Q&A, part 2

2008-04-04T20:45:00.001-04:00

I will start with the 2nd of Maggie's questions: My best life advice?

That is a difficult question to answer as it is rarely asked of me. get the best education you can afford. be curious. take the time to know, and most importantly like yourself. be as honest as you can be. travel as often as you can afford, and find a way to visit another country. read as much as you can, make time for it. look for the best in people. remember your manners especially in the face of rudeness.

De asked: If I could do anything (notwithstanding age, education, etc.) as a second career, what would it be and why does that interest me?

I would be a pilot. Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to learn how to fly. I'm not sure I can express why I want this. I've wanted to so long I don't know the reasons why. I've had a fascination with flight forever. In my mind, it is associated with going places, exploration, freedom even.

she also asked: How do I like the new music I picked up a while back?

I'm still getting to know these new albums and so far I like them all - I like to play new music several times and kinda let my feelings about it come from inside - kind of a gestalt. It's too soon to tell.

De finished with: Can I dance?

HA! I used to try when I was a young man. Now days I am obligated to once a year - at my wife's company Christmas party. I can do what my daughter refers to as the "daddy dance" which is merely designed to embarrass her. I sometimes wish I could do the typical ballroom dances - waltz, fox trot, etc. And when I'm feeling my oats - swing.

Puss asks: What's greens & cornbread?

greens are one of 3 leafs that are cooked in a way particular to the American south. There are collard greens, turnip greens, and mustard greens in order of popularity. They are typically stewed with a piece of smoked pork - a knuckle is most common where I was growing up. They are most commonly served with cornbread (of which there are MANY varieties) and pepper sauce.

She goes on to ask: Am I feeling any less depressed?

nope.

Puss ends with: Where do I stand on the naked body - show it off, or hide it away?

on a personal level, do what you are comfortable with. I think that if enough people were comfortable in their own skin we could solve a host of societal ills. Over here, unfortunately, nudity is equated with sex - so if you are showing skin you must be looking to knock boots. At a more abstract level, I think that there is beauty in the human body. And by that I do not mean solely a 6 foot tall, 16 year old waif with breast implants and a bolemic-ally small waist. Male or female, large or small, short or tall - there is something fascinating about the human form. When we are naked we are at our most vulnerable - and therefore most honest state. there's nothing left to hide, from ourselves or from everyone else.

Pat asks: a lot! He/She seems to be fascinated with procrastination and wants to know a lot about how I feel about various aspects of it.

I think that in some ways depression defines procrastination in it's extreme. At my worst, I have stayed in bed for days doing nothing but sleeping. That is the utmost in procrastination. I cannot compare the ways in which I procrastinate with the way other people do - I don't know but one or two people well enough to know how they procrastinate and therefore have no basis for comparison. I tend to procrastinate when making life-changing decisions - I, like many people, have a certain fear of change, of the unknown. I hate that I do this and am not proud of it. I don't know how to over come it.

Q&A

2008-04-03T12:55:00.002-04:00

No new questions have rolled in for over day, so time to answer those that did.

Meno asked: What was the MRI for?

I have been having having increasing problems with my right shoulder. It's gotten so that I cannot sleep through the night, every time I roll over the pain wakes me up. My doctor suspects a rotator cuff injury. If it is torn, it'll mean surgery. I'll find out the 14th.

she also asked how're the kids doing?

Both Zack and Kris are doing fine. Zack is still working 2nd shift (3:30 to 12:30) and isn't in a hurry to change it. Kris just changed majors and is happier with school. She had already declared a minor in English, so this shouldn't set her back very much, maybe just a semester.

Jen asked: When was the last time I laughed really, really hard.

As it happens, I bust my gut laughing twice on Monday. The first time was while reading this. The second time was later in the evening. When I was a kid I used to love watching the Dean Martin Roasts. My favorite part was when Foster Brooks would get up to speak. Well, a few weeks ago Dad gave me 6 DVDs of these comedy roasts and I watched one Monday night. I still laugh so hard I cry when Foster does his bit. Here's a taste:

Liv asked: What's my favorite book.

the simple answer is, I don't have one. I've been reading voraciously since I was in grade school. I would participate in the summer reading programs and use 3 or 4 sheets to list all of the books I'd read. So, in lieu of a favorite book, I'd thought I'd instead list some of my favorites.

the Doctor Dolittle series by Hugh Lofting. I LOVED these when I was in grade school, I used to imagine what it would be like to be able to understand what animals were saying. I just never found me a Polynesia to teach me.

The Hardy Boys series by Franklin W. Dixon. This was my introduction to mysteries. I read every one of them (of the original series), and still have about 10 or 15 of them that were given me as presents. I always saw myself as Frank but I wasn't much interested in "his steady date" Callie Shaw - not being into girls yet. I think everyone knows by now that this series, along with Nancy Drew, the Bobbsey Twins, Tom Swift and one or two other series were all the idea of one man, Edward Stratemeyer and were written by a series of ghost writers under various pen names - Carolyn Keene for Nancy Drew, etc.

The Foundation series by Isaac Asmiov. I got interested in science fiction in high school. I still prefer those athors I found first - Asimov, Arthur Clark, Larry Niven, etc. Asimov writes in such a way that his worlds seem eminently possible. (It helps that he was an actual scientist). Ditto Arthur Clark. He was also - I prefer for the science in science fiction to be so, I don't know, inevitable, that it fades into the background and allows the story to come out. You aren't constantly thinking - there's no way that could happen.

The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. I found these while in high school and they remain at the top of my all-time favorite list. Every few years I re-read them. He created such a complete world with complex back-stories for all of the creatures in them, why they react to each other as they do, whey they behave as they do, you get completely lost in the Third World - and mourn it's passing at the end of the trilogy.

Agatha Christie's Poirot and Mrs. Marple mysteries - classics. I think I've read them all, I still pick one up and re-read it occasionally. Part of this is that I think I am a closet Anglophile. This are the epitome of the drawing room mystery.

Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - more classics. What can I say, I wish I had half the brains of Sherlock Holmes.

Anything by Dick Francis. He's an ex-jockey who used to ride the Queen mother's race horses. when he retired he started writing mysteries all with horse racing as their central theme. He writes of the everyman engagingly. You root for the good guy, despite his failings.

Anything by Douglas Adams - while the hitchhikers' are terrific, I think I like the Dirk Gently series better. The master of English wit, they are each so fun to read.

Anything by Terry Pratchett - those in the disc world series are my favorites, full of good british sarcasm where, unusually, I actually get most of the cultural references. Who else could name a city Didjabringabeeralong and the reader not immediately get that he's parodying Australia?

Anything by Christopher Moore - although my favorite of his is a tie between The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove and Lamb. He reminds me somewhat of an American version of Terry Pratchett - irreverent, engaging, sarcastic to a gentle degree.

those are just the first few that come to mind. I hope this is a good enough answer because I don't have a favorite book. I've read too many good ones. Maybe that just means I haven't read my favorite yet?

Scott asked: If I weren't alive, where would I want to exist?

I am not an adherent of any religion. I don't have any firm belief in an afterlife (in heaven or hell), or a return to life (reincarnation). I don't know if I believe in alternate universes or parallel universes, or alternate streams of time - I just don't know. So - not having any beliefs, I get to pick and choose. I remember as a teenager reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. I like the idea expressed in it that as you learn and evolve as a person you reach a point where you are ready for a new world/reality/dimension - one that holds new things for you to learn and new opportunities for growth.

Maggie asks: What is my favorite movie, and why?

This is as difficult to answer as the book question for much the same reason. I love to watch movies and I cannot select an all-time favorite. Also, I'm always looking for my next favorite so it's possible I haven't seen it yet. I read through the AFI 2007 top 100 and I've seen all but 11 of them. So - yet another list in no particular order:

Sergeant York - I'm not sure why I like this move so much - Gary Cooper does a great job in it, the story is clean (too clean for today's movie goer, I'm sure) but there's just something that, every time it's on TV, I watch it.

Mr. Hulot's Holiday - Jacques Tati made 2 movies with the Mr. Hulot character (that I know of). It is reminiscent of Buster Keaton wtth the heartwarming touch of Charlie Chaplin.

Blazing Saddles/Young Frankenstein - I can't count how many times I've seen them both. I can quote most of both. Two of the best genre satires I know of.

The Princess Bride - "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means". my favorite romance film.

Saving Private Ryan - I doubt I'll ever watch this movie again. it had, I can only imagine, the most realistic portrayal of war of any war movie. period. It was worth seeing. Everyone should have an idea of what war is like so maybe we wouldn't be in such a damned hurry to send our children off to die in them.

Bringing up Baby - Carry Grant and Katherine Hepburn are wonderful in this, practically the definition of genteel, slapstick, screwball comedy. I always want to see this again.

I think this is enough to plow through, so I'll save the rest of the answers for my next post.

let me have it!

2008-03-31T08:30:00.002-04:00

Between the crud, pine pollen and an MRI I've not had much motivation to blog lately. I've just not had anything I've wanted to talk about enough to find the energy to put an entry together.

So, I'd thought I'd borrow this "meme" and take questions from the floor. Ask anything you wish in the comments and I'll write a post of the answers. Now's your chance to find out about that thing that's been nagging you in the back of your head, or stuck in your craw. Nothing is sacred although I reserve the right to protect the privacy of the other people in my life.

wow, part 2

2008-03-20T12:55:00.000-04:00

I cannot remember a time when I haven't been depressed. It is my status quo, my point of equilibrium. My problems reach way back into my childhood. I remember going to a child psychologist for a little while when I was about 11 years old, all I really remember is playing cards and that he/she (I can't remember which) had a neat machine for shuffling them.)

The wow that started this was the quote from Tuesday. The reason for wow has to do with almost a year of therapy that I thought didn't do me any good. This was about 10 years go, and the therapist's conclusion was that my depression was rooted in my relationship with my father. I had not received the love/support/attention/whatever from my dad that I needed. The problem I had with this conclusion was that I didn't believe it. I love my dad and respect him for who he is and what he's accomplished in his life. I just couldn't reconcile what I felt for my dad and what my therapist told me was the problem.

And then I read the wow passage and it slapped me in the face. I didn't have to defend my feelings for my dad by denying what the therapist told me. It wouldn't be a betrayal to acknowledge his role in my emotional state.

I don't know if I agree with my therapist, even with this realization. But I really wish I could have read this back then, I might have been able to get something out of therapy other than a huge bill.

I have a lot to think about.

wow

2008-03-18T09:32:00.003-04:00

I just read something.

"It never occurred to me that I can examine the past and accept that my childhood was not normal without being vindictive or resentful toward my Mom and Dad. They screwed up a lot; so do I. It doesn't make me love them any less fiercely than I do and it doesn't make me think for one second that they were bad parents."

I wouldn't say that my parents screwed up a lot, but SOMETHING SOMEWHERE caused this constant, unrelenting depression that NOTHING has been able to relieve.

Maybe life can be a happy experience?

Playlist

2008-03-10T23:16:00.002-04:00

okay, here's what was ordered:

Wilco - Sky Blue Sky
Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
The Killers - Sam's Town
The Dandy Warhols - Odditorium or Warlords of Mars
Ok Go - Oh No
Feist - The Reminder
U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
John Coltrane - Blue Train
Susan Tedeschi - Hope and Desire
Madeleine Peyroux - Half the Perfect World

a mix of new(ish) stuff and older standards. Thanks for all of your recommendations. I wish I could've ordered twice as much - but I still wouldn't have been able to get all of the new music you've shared with me.

I don't know about Omnipotence

2008-03-04T12:45:00.005-05:00

Daisy has tagged me for this meme and I guess as she commands, I obey (kinda old-testamenty vibe here).

1) If I were an all-powerful being and ruled this world, I would:

Make sure every child was raised in a safe and happy home; well fed and educated to the extent they are capable. This would solve the majority of the problems in the world within a generation.

2) If I could be all-knowing, I would want to know:

The reality of all of the mysteries of the past. Did Nero burn Rome? Who was Lucy’s ancestor and descendants? Was Mary Magdalene Jesus’ wife, the “head” disciple, or camp follower? What did the seven wonders of the world really look like? Did Oswald act alone? Did Atlantis really exist? How is my first love doing? Where are my missing socks?

3) If I could move the heavens and the earth, I would:

Give people the wisdom to peacefully coexist.

4) If I had the power to shift time (or move through time) I would:

Go back and watch the world come into being. Watch the first spark of curiosity in mankind. Watch my children being born. Give people the opportunity to really see their what ifs……

5) If, in my infinite wisdom, I were able to bestow anything on anyone, I would:

Give everyone the ability to be happy.

6) If, looking back, I realized I had goofed when I made the world, I would fix:

How easy it is to hate.

As usual, I won't tag anyone - but if you feel compelled, take this up and link back so we can see.

who remember's 78's?

2008-02-25T15:33:00.002-05:00

Having been recently reminded of my neanderthal music collection, I am considering taking up a music's club periodic offer on discounted discs. The implication being that I need guidance in this area, in order to make sure I get an adequate sampling of current music, I am asking for suggestions. If you feel so inclined you could tell me why I should choose this over that - but it isn't necessary to justify your suggestions.

Please share some of your favorite music with me. Don't limit your suggestions to something you think I might like - I have an eclectic range of interests and am always open to new experiences.

Even if it took me 10 years to accumulate more CDs than I had records.

every day, in every way

2008-02-14T01:04:00.003-05:00

"And then it happens. She steps into a permanent spot formed by his embrace, the years fall away...."

okay, so maybe it isn't impossible

2008-02-09T01:33:00.000-05:00

but near enough.

I've been thinking about this all day today. I guess I should say a bit more than I did last night.

Oh, The Joy's post was titled "I don't hang out with your husband" and ended with "I just can't make friends with another woman's husband!" She then appealed to her readers to back her up "against" K, who didn't understand why this was so.

Now, I admit that in the post itself she says that it would be okay for her to spend time with the other dad - within the context of K being there and the dad's wife being there. J also explained further in her comment to my post that it would be possible for a married woman to be friends with a married man, but only if the friendship first developed within the context of the couples spending time together so the spouses could be part of the growing friendship and be comfortable with it. J goes on to say that a strong friendship between a married man and married woman could be misinterpreted.

K didn't understand this. Why did J have to have all future contact via the mom? Hence the appeal for help from her readers. The responses were interesting. At the time I read through all of the comments today, out of 86 comments, 62 agreed. (all but 5 of these were women). Only 9 comments disagreed, with 15 undecided. So - 75% of her readers whole-heartedly agreed. Some "chuckled at his (K) naivete", one mentions that "men are so clueless", one states "our men need a little help sometimes", one wrote "score you 1, hubby 0", one would mark her husband so other women would know to stay away, one mentions K needed "a manual on men & women" and the rest said mostly - yep, you're right. I talked to Laura about this at lunchtime. Where she works the staff is predominately female and she agreed that the majority of those women would feel the same way.

I take from all of this that there are two reasons why it isn't a good idea for this kind of friendship. 1) That the spouse would not understand or like it and 2) that the community wouldn't understand the platonic nature of the relationship.

Point 1: I contend that this is a matter of trust between the spouses. Laura and I have discussed this, she is fine with my female friends and feels no need for her to be involved in the friendship. I have no problems with her having male friends. I trust her. She trusts me. Maybe this level of trust is unusual, seeing that some of the 75% of J's supporting comments mention this. Maybe this level of trust comes after a certain amount of time - we've been married over 23 years. I know that Laura will honor our vows of fidelity. If a friendship of hers turned into an affair, that tells me that our marriage had problems in the first place that caused her to look outside it for whatever she didn't get from me. Me preventing her from having unsupervised contact with another man doesn't fix the inherent problem in our marriage. As for how the spouse of my friend feels about the friendship - that isn't my problem. That may sound blunt, cold, uncaring - but I am not responsible for her marriage. It is a matter for them to work out. It isn't my actions causing the problem - it is her behavior that is causing the problem with her spouse and it is up to her to deal with it. If she chooses to deal with it by ending our friendship, then that is her decision and I respect that. Julie Pippert mentions (my paraphrasing) that I should have respect for their marriage by being careful of the friendships I form with married women. I feel that the utmost respect I can have for someone's marriage is to recognize that they have the power and responsibility for maintaining it and that I don't. I have heard something to the effect that communities have a role in maintaining the marriages in it. I don't know that I agree with that - if the marriage isn't strong enough to prevent infidelity then all of the chaperoning by the community won't fix the problem, it will merely perpetuate a bad marriage. In other words, just because I didn't cheat on my wife through lack of opportunity doesn't mean I didn't want to - and it is the wanting to that is the problem, not the actual doing. A lot of people made fun of Jimmy Carter when he made his famous statement about lusting in his heart but what he was trying to say, in my opinion, was that it wasn't just the act itself that is considered cheating, but the desire to also.

2: I don't know what to say about how the community could misinterpret the friendship. This could be your neighbors or your church congregation or your book club, I guess anyone who knows you and sees you with a man other than your husband who might then think you are cheating on your husband. I cannot control what other people think. I don't really care what other people think - other than the spouses involved. I've addressed that in point 1 above. Worrying about how others think is instilled in us at an early age and is done so that we would conform to the local morays. Society protects itself by means of urging this conformance. But at what expense? So we can all live in the same house, all have the same 2.5 children, all go to the same church, all belong to the same lion's club or kiwanis club or jaycees, etc, etc, etc. At what point are we allowed to be individuals without the fear that if I don't go to the right church or belong to the right club I'll be outcast. Well - if the price of belonging means that I'm not allowed to be who I am then I don't want to belong.

Mir's take on this issue (and my post) was that 1) I was overreacting (yeah, probably) and that 2) that this kind of friendship wasn't impossible - that some women simply have more in common with women and so that's where their friendships are. I totally agree with her. But that isn't what J's post is about and it isn't what upset me. J said that she liked the dad but wouldn't hang out with him, be pals with him, have lunch dates (or pedicures) with him - because it just isn't right, it just isn't done.

Liv commented here that she (in effect) agreed that it is a matter of trust, but her comment over at J's post was that J was right, that "we've been through this! You must do it your way" Which, if I relate this to J's comment here, Liv is being consistant - there has to be trust between everyone. Maggie's comment reflects this attitude also. Okay, I accept that there must be trust - but for me the establishment of trust isn't between me and her husband, it is between me and my wife. It is up to my friend to have the trust of her husband.

Slow Panic, over at J's, agreed with her but over here has had another think at it and seems to agree with me, but made what was to me an interesting and somewhat ambiguous statement: "i guess i was thinking of hanging out with them like i hang out with the girls-- like going out and stuff. i don't know". So male friends are okay, but you still cannot "hang out" with them like you would "the girls?" Why not?

At first I didn't quite understand De's comment over at J's, except that her last statement about K being naive made me understand. Her comment here consolidated that understanding. my response is - How can jealousy exist if there is trust? I find them mutually exclusive. So, to prevent jealousy I have to make friends with both the wife AND her husband? And Laura has to make friends with him too? I don't know about other people, but how likely is it that I will meet a woman I want to be friends with and ALSO find that I feel the same about her husband? I find that unlikely and unreasonable. How many potential friends am I losing if I had to stay away from couples that I didn't like equally?

Julie Pippert was one of those wholly supportive over at J's, she mentions that it just doesn't look right and all friendships have to include both spouses. Which she refines here to say that you have to be "careful of the dynamic and respectful of their marriage" and goes on to say that most people have run into problems with this type of friendship and goes further by saying that trust isn't the issue here. I have to say that I disagree, it is all about trust. I also made my position clear with regard to having to be responsible for their marriage - I'm not. She concludes by saying that she personally doesn't have time for these relationships, her life is full of other things - and she lists friends as part of those things. I am left to assume that these are female friends.

Jen - you were one of the very few who disagreed with J and you've repeated that here, in your own succinct way. It is nice to know that I'm not the only one.

Lee - that's a cop out, girl. Take a stand! Join the fray.

I want to close this novel by saying one more thing to J. She was really nice to say in her comment here that she didn't mean to be discouraging me and that I should continue to form friendships where I can find them. I appreciate that, but I can say that even after having thought this through, If I accept what you and your readers are telling me then I have a really hard road ahead of me. As I have said to others and also here in other posts - I have a hard enough time finding people I want to be friends with without having these extra hurdles to overcome. I guess I will have to treasure those friendships I make even more because there will be fewer of them.

that seals it

2008-02-08T01:01:00.000-05:00

I give up.

read the comments. I guess there really isn't any - or enough - trust in marriage for friends of the opposite sex to be possible.

I'm so fucking tired of wondering why, and now I know. Even if everything else is there for friendship, I'm not allowed.

so I'm not trying any more.

Yeah.

2008-02-04T13:17:00.000-05:00

Just exactly how is someone supposed to feel when they are being interviewed by someone whose goal is to replace you?

The company I work for periodically hires a consulting firm to review our operations and to recommend changes that would improve it. This has happened at least 4 times (maybe more that I'm not aware of) since I've worked here. Let's review their performance. When I started this company had @40 facilities and we were the 2nd largest textile firm in the world. Today we have 1 production facility and 4 distribution centers (domestic) and 1 facility overseas. I guess I shouldn't blame the shift of manufacturing in the US to off-shore totally on them, but I am not in the mood to be fair. Anyway, this round of consulting resulted in the recommendation that we (the collective "we", i.e. this company) should review the Finance, Customer Service, and IT areas.

So, the implementation of this recommendation is to hire the company that we have already outsourced our A/P function to to study these areas - ostensibly to prepare an objective recommendation of how to cut costs in these areas. This same company that provides services in these additional areas.

Yeah.

So, any doubts as to whether our company will implement the recommendations that we've paid so much for?

Yeah.

So I was interviewed two weeks ago now by someone from this outsourcing company. He asked all of about 6 questions, with a few variations on the theme of those questions. No searching questions about my day to day responsibilities, no deeply analytical questions about the system I support and it's role in the running of the company. No questions about who uses the system and their role in this company.

Yeah.

Today I am to complete a list of (currently) outstanding tasks, their scope, and the time it would take to complete the work.

Yeah.

Any guesses as to my next writing project? My resume.

Yeah.

a meme is a meme is a meme

2008-01-23T20:13:00.000-05:00

as I lie here on my deathbed, up to my eyebrows in used tissues and empty packets of @#$%$!@$%good for nothing cold remedies I am reminded I have been tapped on the shoulder for the two's meme. As I have been reminded that I don't turn down courteous requests (read: sucker for a pretty face and easily susceptible to flattery) I hereby present my answers:

1) Two names I'm willing to answer to: Bob and Robby

2) Two things I'm wearing right this very minute: t-shirt and flannel lounge-wear.

3) Two things I want in a relationship: honesty and loyalty.

4) Two of my favorite things to do: be with Laura, spend time with my friends.

5) Two things I want very badly at the moment: access to the cure for the common cold, the willpower to do what needs to be done.

6) Two people who I think will fill this out: Idon'tknow and Idon'tcare

7) Two things I did last night: go to the grocery store, blog

8) Two things I ate today: chicken fingers with rooster sauce, Beef & vegable soup.

9) Two people I last talked to: Laura and a perky co-ed from my alma mater wanting money.

10) Two things I'm doing tomorrow: ordering rebuild kits for the faucets in our tub and sink, write a weekly status report at work.

11) Two longest car rides I've ever taken: well, if you define this as longest continuous car ride (no overnight stops) then it would be the 15+ hour drive between here and Kansas City last year (several times last year) and the 14 hour drive between Baltimore and Kansas City. If you include overnight stops, then from Georgia to California when I was ?10? and from California to Texas when Laura and I first married.

12) Two most favorite holidays: Thanksgiving and Christmas, they are both celebrated with family.

13) Two most favorite beverages: a cold pitcher of beer shared with my best friend, a bottle of Brut champagne shared with Laura.

14) Two people no longer living I'd like to talk to: My great grandfather - he was born in the 1880's and lived until the mid-'70s. I'd love to have him tell me what it was like to live through world-war I, the roaring 20's, the depression, world-war II, etc. all in rural Georgia. Thomas Jefferson - he was one of the last true renaissance men. He was a man, a husband, a farmer, a slave-owner, the author of the declaration of independance, an ambassador, a governor, a president, his library was the kernel of the library of congress, an architect, a vintner, a lawyer, a ruthless politician, a man who thought there should be little if any central government but was the first president to consolidate power into the presidency - I could go on, and I see that I have gone on for far too long.

Time

2008-01-16T15:00:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was our (flexible) Christmas meet-up with my best friend and his LONG TERM girlfriend (for those of you accusing me of hiding eligible bachelors from you). We met at a restaurant in Lithonia armed with bags-o-presents. Although I had seen David several times last year this was the first time since our last holiday get-together we had all been together so we caught up on all of the goings-on of each other. Laura talked about her trip to Europe last May, I talked about my trip to Bahrain, Iris about her daughters and other family and David about David. After several hours we exchanged gifts and when it came time for mine, David and Iris both were watching me, rather intensely I thought, and when I opened it I saw why. It was in a small box, in which was a leather drawstring bag, out of which I pulled a silver pocket watch with chain & fob. My breath caught in my chest. It. is. beautiful. It has an intricate engraved pattern, and the dial features the day of the week at the top and date to the right. David explained that he had been wanting to do something special for me, for being there for him when his Dad, and then his Mom passed away. He almost started crying and I had to fight from starting. I mumbled something about what are friends for and then the moment passed and we went back to chatting about this and that.

David and I met when I was a freshman in college (we can't decide if it was late '80 or early '81). He was a few years ahead of me. At the beginning of my sophomore year we became roommates. He would occasionally invite me home for the weekend and so I met his family. His father and uncles were the 2nd generation of craftsmen making furniture. David would take me to the shop and once in a blue moon I would help them on a project - I've helped glue-up desks they were refinishing for the Georgia Senate, I've helped David pull pews out of a church for them to fix and refinish. His father spoke slowly & deliberately, and had a wealth of knowledge at his fingertips about almost anything you cared to talk about. David's mom was as sweet as they come. From the beginning she treated me like one of her own children. When I visited she'd tell me - you know where everything is. Help yourself, you're not company, you're family. When I met and married Laura and brought her to visit, she was welcomed as a new daughter in the family. Through the years when passing through this part of the world we would always visit - and there was always a place for us in their home.

David lost his parents within a year of each other. In both cases, he was living with them, taking care of them. In both instances I took some time off of work and went up to be with David. I didn't do anything special, just hung around and kept him company. I wanted to do more, but didn't know what. I miss his mom and dad, they were among the few constants I've had in my life of moving around. They were always there, glad to see me. I wish I could've done more for them, been there more often but daily life got in the way, raising a family and earning a living - Conyers was always just too far for a spontaneous visit.

At each of their funerals I was reminded of how much they had meant to me and how much David means to me. No matter where I've lived, nor of all of people that have come and gone in my life he's always been my best friend. We were talking Sunday about how we'd be telling each other years from now all of the different ailments we had and what pills we were taking instead of what concert we'd like to see or what bar to visit and I realized that - we would. That no matter what the future held for us, we'd be a part of each other's.

And the pocket watch will be a reminder of that - as if I needed one.

Happy New.....well, luke-warm, no actually cold like a dead fish new year

2008-01-08T10:50:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the absence, but I kinda took a break from writing this blog when we went on vacation to spend Christmas with Laura's family. We had a great time, (almost) everyone was doing great. I got to meet my new nephew and he is quite the handsome young man I must say. His sister is a precocious two-year-old who likes PINK! Everything must be PINK! She wanted a train set for Christmas (PINK!) but Santa didn't find it until after, so it will have to be a birthday gift (if she remembers that long).

All in all our trip to KC was great. There was lots of snow (great) but a good bit of ice (not so great) and lots of family (super-great). We got to see everyone and still had time for the new museum addition and BBQ! Twice, even. Laura and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary while there (I'll have to check, if I haven't related the tale of our wedding I'll have to do so sometime). We're a bunch of old farts, all we did was go out to dinner (japanese steak house, the only part of which Laura talks about is where they were tossing shrimp into the upturned mouths of customers). We are planning to make our 25th an event with a trip to Greece (where our marriage took off and the kids were born). Anyway, we had fun in KC and left it as we found it - being snowed on.

After we got home I almost immediately got sick. AGAIN! The nerve of those cold bugs, hitting me before and after Christmas. This time it is even worse. I went from having a sore throat to thinking I was going to die from the pain every time I coughed, to loosing my voice (some people count that as a positive!) to being a lethargic, unproductive lump up until today, when I am a merely partly productive lump. I am attempting to work today (although I don't know if my boss thinks so or not) but I am not sure I will last the day out. To top it off, one of the meds the doctor gave me is playing havoc with my prostate and urinating has become somewhat a chore. (I know, TMI, but if I'm suffering, so will you) So, who knew the price to pay for getting my voice back was restricted water works.

In brighter news (and not so personal) this weekend I am meeting with my best friend and his clan (or maybe just his girlfriend - I don't know yet) to do Christmas/New Years/birthday(his). No drunken debauchery as we both are driving but I think we'll manage to have fun.

I'm sorry for having dropped off of the face of the earth, I don't have but a few readers as it is to risk losing them for lack of presence - I promise to do better. cross my heart and hope to... well, no need to go that far.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

2007-12-24T00:30:00.001-05:00

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

We made it to Kansas City yesterday and were welcomed by a snow storm. It alternated between those big, fluffy, wet flakes and hard little ice particles that sting like hell when they're driven into your ear by 20 MPH winds when you're trying to scrape the ice off of your rental car having just emerged from a warm airplane bringing you from 65 degree southern clime.

Oh, and to top it off 3 of our bags were lost by the airline. Two (both my son's) were found, flown in and delivered this afternoon. Mine was found this evening and, according to the lost luggage website, is to be delivered sometime between 8:00 PM and 8:00 AM. Uh huh.

Laura's winter coat was packed in my suitcase. As was all of my stuff, including my meds. Luckily I have been using wally-world's $4.00 prescriptions and they will fill it wherever you are, so I called it in and picked it up this morning. Tonight is our 23rd wedding anniversary. For a while our dinner choices were limited to Wendy's 'cause all I had to wear were the khakis and golf shirt I wore on the flight here. But - I remembered that I get lost baggage insurance anytime I buy a plane ticket using my am-ex so I get $200 per passenger for any luggage delays over 6 hours. So - I went shopping for an outfit (inside and out) and we went to a Japanese steak house and ate way too much.

Tomorrow is the big get-together here with all of Laura's family. A HUGE dinner is planned, gifts are exchanged and mayhem ensues. It should be a blast.

I wish for you all a Merry Christmas. I'll try to send a little snow your way.

oh, the weather outside is frightful

2007-12-19T21:54:00.000-05:00

3 days before we take off for Kansas City and Laura is in her usual pre-trip "ohmygodthiswholehouseisamessitneedstobecleanedtoptobottomorIwon'tcomehome" panic. This means she alternates between full-bore cleaning mode to oh, what's the use it'll never get done.

We do this every time. I admit, it takes a good bit of patience on my part. I do what I'm told, stay busy when she is, and when she bounces the other way I jolly her out of it and keep on working. It makes the week before we go anywhere, ah, hectic, but I will admit that we come home to a clean slate.

Up until the clean-a-thon began I've been mostly working on cars, stuff that Laura's been saving up for me. I guess I left the last of Bahrain behind me Saturday when it rained all. day. long. (The last thing I fixed was the windshield wipers). AND - they're predicting snow for Saturday in Kansas City.

Things are back to normal.

Snort, slurk, snerk.

2007-12-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

*** edited because I can't spell and ONE PERSON WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS pointed it out***

This week has been surreal, if only because it has been experienced through the haze of cold medicine. I am in the grip of the ague and there are doubts as to my longevity.

Thank GAWD for Nyquil.

I am now on vacation until January 2nd. It actually started yesterday but I don't know if it should count as I certainly don't feel like I'm on vacation. I have actually accomplished something, though - I've been getting car problems fixed. 1.5 down, .5 to go. (A part has been ordered, it will be installed Monday).

We are having TWO Christmas' this year. This Sunday we are going to my parent's. We are supplying turkey and dessert. (So I do kinda get my missed home-cooked Thanksgiving after all!) Next Saturday we are flying to Kansas City and are celebrating Christmas yet again - on the traditional date - with my wife's family. Everyone is looking forward to the trip. It will be a bit of a challenge, though, as it will be our first trip back since Laura's mother passed away last December. I was in Bahrain on the 4th, the 1st anniversary of her mother's passing and I couldn't be here with her. She won't have to face this one alone.

OOF!

2007-12-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

I am home!!!!!!!!!

It felt a little surreal, leaving the airport after that 15 hour flight and trek through customs, seeing trees, pine needles, orderly traffic (well, as orderly as traffic in the ATL gets - which is NOTHING compared to the rally island traffic is) and wet ground (it had rained earlier). I am still a bit jet-lagged and i have A FRICKIN' COLD. ARGH. Even still, I am SO happy to be home.

I am getting used to normal workdays, fighting the cats for my supper, and being able to reach out and touch Laura whenever I want to. In some ways I didn't realize how much I missed her, in others I was never in any doubt. Going to the store, deciding how to deal with the car that won't start, helping to cook supper, all the little things we do for each other I am constantly being reminded of now that I'm home and she is next to me on the couch again. It was a good thing I had 80+ hour work weeks while gone, I don't know how else I could have dealt with being away from Laura for so long without all of my time being so thoroughly occupied.

Before I left Bahrain and disappeared from blogland Liv tagged me for a twist on the 7-things meme.

Sloth - I do have a tendency to procrastinate, and have been known to do things at the last minute. Critical items are completed but it will take a while sometimes to complete the hit list.
Lust - I defer to President Carter, I have lusted in my heart - only - and as such those instances go with me to the grave. There have been one or two temptations but I have not acted upon them. Should I meet any of you in person that tally may increase.
Gluttony - pretty much only in the literal sense of the word - I CANNOT walk away from a buffet without having tasted of everything. In a wider sense of the word, I have an almost insatiable appetite to travel without the means to do so. I take my opportunities as I get them.
Anger - They say that depression is suppressed anger. In that case, I must have a mountain of it! These days I do not get really angry any more, at least to the point where I explode. I try to maintain an even keel and have only the occasional flare-up. However, if I am to achieve my goal of being a crotchety old man I have some cutting loose to do.
Vanity - I was extremely self-conscious as a teenager - who isn't? - but these days I could pretty much care less. I never did fancy myself as attractive nor did I preen. Today I like to dress for the occasion and will feel uncomfortable if I miss the mark for the occasion, but that is mild and I get over it. My best friend likes to tell people about the time in college when I wore a suit to metals class and although I spent the hour turning a knurled key holder on a metal lathe I didn't get a spot on my clothes. Those days are long gone.
Greed - I wish I had more money - again, who doesn't - but only so I could do the things I want (travel, financial peace of mind). I don't want a lot of money, a big house, a fancy car (but would love to drive one once in a while!) or the headaches that come with them. I have accepted where I am and what I have and don't want the greener grass (it is often gained with liberal applications of manure).
Envy - like above, I don't really want much so I don't have much to be envious of. I guess if I had to pick something, I am envious of those who have the financial freedom to do what they want when they want.

I hope I have been honest with myself (and you too) in the writing of this list - I think I have. We all have a certain degree of fiction we tell ourselves so that we will be happy with who we are. I know that I could be a better person and I can hope for the day when I have the wisdom and ability to get there. Until then, this list will have to do.

In any case, feel free to correct me on the list above, my rose-colored glasses may be a shade or two too dark for me to see myself clearly.

take note

2007-12-05T14:48:00.001-05:00

take note
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

I'd been nominated chauffeur for the accounting guys that came in last weekend - kinda fell into it, actually as I'd been driving while everyone was gone. I had been relegated back to rider status when they returned and reclaimed their vehicles, but when the accountants came in the head honcho here dug out an extra car (it had been parked in his garage since his wife went home) and gave it to me. Pretty much with the understanding that I would accomodate them. And actually, I've had a good time taking them places (despite the parking ticket) and have seen more of downtown this week than the 5 weeks previous. Of course, I haven't had much time to do this in the last 5 weeks, but them needing a ride gave me the confidence to tackle down down traffic and to find places. I've decided next time I'm here I'll spend more time doing that - heading off downtown, finding the places I wanted to go this trip but didn't feel comfortable asking anyone to take me or brave enough to do it on my own. With familiarity comes confidence.

Tomorrow is my last day at work, and if today was any guage, it will be a bitch. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to fit in last minute meetings and training sessions. I am going in early to get some grunt work done before everyone else gets there. I've been asked out to dinner tomorrow by one of the local guys, I am looking forward to it - I just hope the head guy here isn't organizing anything or I'll have to decide which to attend.

I will admit that I am using the last of my patience, I am so anxious to get on that airplane and go home. In a way I hope tomorrow is busy, it will fly by. A little shopping Friday morning and leave mid-afternoon. And not a moment too soon.

1 day and a wake-up.

night

cold store

2007-12-04T15:27:00.001-05:00

cold store
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

These little stores are everywhere. I don't know why they are referred to as cold stores. This is about as small as I've seen one, the one just down the street from us is maybe 3 times bigger - which isn't saying much. They have a little bit of everything - including McVitie's Hob-Nobs (which I am munching on as I type, trying to keep the crumbs out of the keyboard). People double and triple park outside of these places, and will occasionally beep their horn to get the attention of someone inside - curb-side service? I was warned when I got here that when I get something, don't take my money out until they ring it up - supposedly things get more expensive if they see you have plenty of money. I personally think that if they were that greedy, they would be ringing things up higher for foreigners whether they see your money or not. Which maybe they do? I haven't seen it, and the prices I've been paying don't seem to be high.

two days and a wake-up.

ma salama.

ground breaking

2007-12-03T15:08:00.001-05:00

ground breaking
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

Okay, I promise this is the last post about dirt - but I had to show you this. This is the groundbreaking for the new waste processing system. The machine on the right is a pneumatic jackhammer attached to the end of a boom of a back hoe. They had to use it to create some ground for them to shovel for this ground breaking.

I am on one big rock, with a dust coating.

3 days and a wake-up.

be seeing you.

take a picture of my bear!

2007-12-02T14:30:00.001-05:00

take a picture of my bear!
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

This is the (silent) owner of the bear.

Today was the start of the week. Worked all day on this and that, broke camp at 6:30 and headed for the villa. Tonight was italian. Most of the restaurants around here have entertainment, a singer who plays either the piano or the guitar accompanied by a beat box or better. Usually pretty good, and usually Fillipino.

Today we had a ground breaking for a major project to improve the waste treatment facility. They had tables set up that displayed the plans for the project, with refreshments. Several people took turns turning a shovel full of rock (broken up previously with a backhoe-mounted jack hammer). All major projects get at least his level of ceremony. When they broke ground for a new building here, they sacrificed 3 sheep. They were then cooked and served to everyone at a feast. I'm glad this didn't rate that level of ceremony.

4 days and a wake-up.

syonara.

Hard Rock Bahrain

2007-12-01T15:08:00.001-05:00

Hard Rock Bahrain
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

After we left the Gold Souq yesterday we zig-zagged a block (or two) and pulled up in front of the Hard Rock Cafe, Bahrain. Several of us had had requests for a tshirt and it was about the right time, so we went in and had lunch. They had this big glass wall with different scenes representative of here (although I've seen a camel crossing sign, I've yet to see an actual camel). I take the picture and when I put the camera down I see the little boy from the table holding up his bear. His mom was telling him to get out of the way, but I asked if he wanted me to take a picture of his bear. I didn't notice until I downloaded this picture that his bear had already had his picture taken.

Today we knocked off at 1:00 PM, so I did get my half-day off. The guys who came in a day or two ago asked if I would take them out the King Fahd Causeway so we did. Afterwards we went back downtown, apparently some of the fake watches had fake winding stems that came off. So we went back to exchange them. I don't know what they did for him but I heard they got out a tool set. I didn't ask, I don't know him that well and if he got done over in his deal I didn't want to remind him of it by bringing it up. Anyway, we left the souq and when we got back to the car, I had a damned parking ticket. ARGH! My first one in 19 years. I don't have a clue what to do, I will start finding out tomorrow. I briefly considered just tossing it. Technically, the car isn't registered to me, I wasn't there at the time so they don't know me from adam's housecat. I believe the car is registered to the wife of the head man here. She doesn't live here anymore, so they can't exactly go after her either - but when it's time to renew the registration it would be held up until the unpaid ticket is cleared up. So I didn't toss the ticket - like I really would have. I feel really stupid for having got it. I didn't feed a parking meter. Well - I'm paying for that parking space now.

We grilled out tonight - beef and lamb kabob, steamed asparagus, grilled tomato halves with olive oil & parmesan cheese, potatoes au gratin, garlic bread, and fruit salad for desert. We all pitched to prep and clean up afterwards and hung around the roof deck - until the ball game started. Everyone peeled off to find a TV. So here I am, and they're all deciding how long to watch before calling it a night. Some are planning to get up at 4:00 AM to watch the "big" game. I wish them a good game, I'm sleeping through.

5 days and a wake-up (sounded better than six days).

toodles.

day 30

2007-11-30T13:15:00.001-05:00

dominoes
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

We went downtown to the Gold Souq today, it's near old-town Manama. We were walking down the street and I heard a SLAM! and turned to see these gentlemen playing cutthroat dominoes.

Several of the guys visiting here wanted to buy fake rolexs, and this was the place to get them. As I had no interest in either gold nor knock-off watches I wandered around. There were all kinds of small businesses selling mostly jewelry and knick-knacks (hookahs, table runners, pewter camels, magic boxes (puzzle boxes),etc.) You are expected to dicker, no one pays the price on the label. One of the permanent party guys here likes to go just to haggle. He rarely buys the thing, but he's damned good at getting their best price.

So - as you can see - I got a rare day off. It was nice to wander around a bit. I'm just getting a feel for how the city is laid out. I wish I had some real time off to explore, I think I would love old-town Manama. I've been on an island for almost 5 weeks and haven't been anywhere near the water. Oh well, maybe next time.

7 days and I'm on a plane....

day 29

2007-11-29T05:01:00.001-05:00

this is behind the hospital
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

despite evidence and rumors to the contrary I am actually on this planet and not 250,000 miles away. Here's a bit of greenery that could not survive in that other environment. (ignore the shadows pointing the wrong direction).

Hoo boy, this place is jumping. All the permanent party folks are back and there's a host of visitors (like myself). So, no more quiet. Confusion will reign for a while. it's already started - someone was left at the apartment this morning. Lunch is being ordered in due to the logistics of trying to get a large number of people out somewhere. I fully expect a mess trying to figure out whose food is whose. Oh well. no big deal, it'll iron itself out.

8 days............

day 28

2007-11-28T04:13:00.001-05:00

Picture on observation deck
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

our production methods are state-of-the-art, the envy of our competitors.....

I'm afraid I have nothing witty, pithy, observational, or otherwise of interest to contribute today. More visitors are arriving, people are starting to return from vacation so routines are about to change. I think my driving days are about up, the person whose vehicle I am using is supposed to be back as of today. That will bite, I have enjoyed the freedom even if I haven't had much use for it. I will attempt to commandeer it from time to time for various nefarious activities.

9 days left!

aloha.

day 27

2007-11-27T14:54:00.001-05:00

What does this say? What does that say? When can I go play?
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

You know, not in my wildest dreams would I cast myself in this role, although I will admit to occasionally wondering if those I train are about the age of this young student.

day 26

2007-11-26T16:48:00.001-05:00

the modern Bahraini coast guard
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

"One of things is not like the others, one of things doesn't belong..."

It struck me a bit funny to see, in addition to the coast guard boats, a dhow (I think that's the correct term, maybe I'll find out if I ever make it to the museum). Up along the national highway on the north side of Manama there are almost life-size replicas of this kind of boat at most of the on/off ramps. I'll try to get a picture when I'm up there next.

Well, I'm moving out of my apartment into another a few floors down, there's a crew of accountants coming in and someone had the idea of letting them all stay in the same apartment. I've been here 4 weeks today, I hope I don't allow a month-old habit to guide me into my old bedroom whilst occupied. I mean, there's sharing and then there's sharing - and I'm not into sharing that much.

gotta go unpack, no rest for the ~~wicked~~ weary. nighty-night.

day 25

2007-11-25T11:58:00.000-05:00

.....made it! (that was close.)

Not all of the dust in the air is the result of strong winds. This island is a rock, with a little dust on top. When they dig any hole, they have to literally use jackhammers (industrial size, on a backhoe machine) to break up the rock. When they excavate the broken rock, they dump it through a screen (as above) to sift out the smaller rock and dirt which will be used to backfill the hole after whatever is placed into it. If you look at the picture, you can see that under the screen is a pile of dirt, and in front of the screen is rock waiting to be screened. Sometimes they have to continue to hammer at the rock to make enough backfill to completely fill the hole. What's left are piles of rock that I'm not sure where they eventually go to live, but apparently it takes a while, because I see these piles in a lot of places.

day 24

2007-11-24T23:56:00.001-05:00

dust storm
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

Got buffeted around a little this morning coming to work. The wind is up and dust is everywhere. This picture really didn't capture the amount of dust in the air, but those dust drifts in the road were really moving, and constantly replaced.

I didn't take the half day off I was entitled to, I had some system changes to take care of. So, next Friday?

I have had an interesting experience working with the staff here. 90 so-odd percent of the people I am working with are Pakistani. They are very hierarchical. If I am telling someone how to do something and their boss happens to be in the room, they will look to their boss for approval before doing as I instruct. However, if I am the only one present, I become the boss and there is no problem.

When the training session is over in the plant, I am offered tea (on a saucer, of course). It is usually cardamom tea with cream and sugar. If I am in one of the main offices and tea time comes around, I am brought tea with some crackers and/or cookies. There is a person whose job it is to bring and serve the tea and crackers and to take away the empties. This is done twice a day. Yesterday it was well past tea time, but the clerk I was training insisted that he get me a cup himself and wouldn't take no for an answer. He didn't have any (I guess he had had his earlier) but by god I sure was. I am told that the plant manager, should he have a visitor, will peremptorily order any of his subordinates - including his deputy - to go fetch tea and/or any refreshment. Last year there was a celebration here at the plant during Eid al-Fitr (celebrating the end of Ramadan) and one of the plant managers (a Pakistani) asked his boss the general manager of operations here (an American) if he enjoyed the lamb he had just finished. Being told yes, the Pakistani yelled over to his deputy-plant manager, who was eating, who immediately got up and fixed a big plate of lamb and brought it over to the general manager and waited until he had tasted it and got approval.

This also means that all decisions rise to the top. Everything here is approved by a plant manager. Purchases are approved 3 times, and receipts 2 times all by the plant manager and any supervisor whose department the purchase is for. Invoice payment is approved 3 times. Authority rests with just a few people. Part of my job here is to eliminate most of the bottle necks involved with this process and to devolve the decisions to the level that purchases can be managed effectively with little delay. Their current system is little more than a means to manage paper. With my system, there is no paper, no signatures, no middle-men.

I have my job cut out for me.

day 23

2007-11-23T23:30:00.000-05:00

Behold! This is as close as I could come to Saudi Arabia. This picture is taken from a tower on a man-made island in the Persian Gulf between the two countries - on the King Fahd Causeway. It was financed and built by the Saudi government to the tune of 1.2 billion dollars. It is a little over 15 miles long and consists of 5 bridges and man-made dikes - with the central border-crossing island. It opened in 1986. I guess this really is the border, there are gates beyond which you cannot pass without the right papers. Trucks are parked everywhere getting inspected (I guess). The tower (in which there is also a restaurant) was little populated. There is an identical tower on the island over on the Saudi side.

We ran into a guy who had actually come across from Saudi Arabia, just to say he had been to Bahrain. He told us that the tower on the Saudi side of the island was really crowded, that it is a popular spot for Saudis to come, apparently it is a big deal to be able to visit Bahrain (or just to get a hazy view of it). He was a visitor to Saudi himself, staying for 20 days. He said that we were lucky to be visiting Bahrain instead of Saudi Arabia. He didn't elaborate, but I'm guessing that Khobar (the city on the Saudi end of the causeway) is not a very happening place. I have been told that Thursday night Saudis start pouring across the causeway in search of a good time - and alcohol. It isn't unusual to see Saudi license plates during the week, either.

So, we wandered around the base of the tower, took a few pictures - I tried to get a picture of Khobar but it was so hazy the pictures really didn't come out. After a little while, we returned to our part of the world and had lunch. It was particularly fitting end to the afternoon that the restaurant we ate at didn't serve alcohol.

day 22

2007-11-22T14:21:00.001-05:00

source of Bahraini wealth
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

Happy Thanksgiving!

I worked 12 hours today, left and went to eat a turkey buffet at Ric's. There were two kinds of turkey (smoked and fried), 3 kinds of dressing, two kinds of potatoes, green bean casserole, corn, sweet potatoe casserole, glazed carrots, sweet potato pie, pecan pie, pineapple fluff and a pumpkin cake roll.

lots of food, and it was okay - really. Not spectacular, but okay. We took our time and b.s.'d about this and that and made jokes about how it was the best turkey we'd ever had - here. it was the first and only turkey any of us had had here, but that's beside the point. Some Foster's helped wash it down and livened things up a bit.

I talked to my family a few minutes ago, they had just sat down to their turkey dinner. I wish I were there.

I wish that you all have a happy thanksgiving, surrounded by your families.

Tomorrow - off to the Saudi border.

day 21

2007-11-21T22:50:00.001-05:00

my (temporary) office
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

yet another last-minute post, the internet at the apartment was giving me fits last night. So, I came in early (5:30 AM) to finish what I couldn't last night - including this missive. This is where I'm spending my time when I'm not in the plant training. The owner of this office is back in the states, home for thanksgiving. I'll move back out when he returns next week and probably set up shop in the conference room.

Gotta go, sorry for the abbreviated posts the past few days but textile manufacturing waits for no man.

day 20

2007-11-20T23:16:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the 11th hour post. I tried to post last night but the internet wouldn't stay up.

This is where I'm spending all my waking moments lately. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work. This is where I'm about to go to, as soon as I finish this and my bowl of cereal.

Good night to you all, or good morning to me.

day 19

2007-11-19T20:57:00.001-05:00

this is behind the hospital
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

a bit of green in the browns of the area. They do actually plant shrubs, groundcover, and palm trees in the medians. Grass is planted outside the ritzy places - it is much more expensive to plant grass than it is to put in brick pavers, which is very popular here.

Well - the guys left today leaving me alone. There are a few other americans visiting, but they aren't guys I know and we don't work together. I'll be seeing them for dinner occasionally. I didn't have time to miss my departed colleagues as I've been working all day (it's 4:50 AM). tomorrow is going to be a long day.

time for a nap before work. kali nickta

day 18

2007-11-18T15:36:00.001-05:00

mailbox
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

Tomorrow is my son's birthday. My dad's is a few days after. I was hoping to be able to find some cards and mail them (just how efficient is the royal mail?) but I have not even been anywhere I could find any. I will still look for some and mail them, they'll just have to be late.

I am a bit sad tonight. I was originally scheduled to leave here tomorrow. The guys I came with are all excited about going home, they're packing and in general in a great mood. All of the stuff they were consumed with while here are now not so important - the issues are either dealt with, or plans are laid to solve them. My job is just really starting, it'll take me 3 weeks to climb that hill to the top and take the leap - onto that plane on it's way home. They face 24 to 27 hours of travel ahead before they can hug their wives and start to forget the 18 hour days here. We talked about cooking thanksgiving dinner on the way back from the plant. (I've never heard of pressure-cooking a turkey!) Both of these guys are cooking their birds and are worried that they won't be recovered from the trip to be in shape to do so.

I might to to Ric's american - they are serving turkey thanksgiving. I might go, but it'll be busy as Thursday night here is like Friday night at home - everyone goes out to party and the roads will be wicked-busy. Swanson does a passable turkey and dressing tv dinner.

I really miss my family. I miss you guys too, I don't have time to read my regular blogs, I see maybe one or two a day - on a good day. I hope all is well with you all.

gute nacht.

day 17

2007-11-17T16:56:00.001-05:00

FOUL!
Originally uploaded by greens n cornbread

this is apropos of nothing in particular, I just "ran" across it during one of my daily walks and it struck my funny bone. Not only is this the sewer, it is a foul sewer.

I wish I had more to talk about, but my work is really all-consuming right now. I just updated this week's time sheet and I turned in 89.5 hours. I am skipping sleep to post this.

A bit of minutiae from today - I had Thai food for the first time. A spicy soup for starters that was all about pepper and lime and mint and prawns and lemongrass. major goodness. The main course was duck cooked in a pepper-garlic sauce - more major goodness. I had crepes with mango and ?something? fruit and mango sorbet for afters.

heading for bed, masah alhair to you all.

day 16

2007-11-16T09:08:00.001-05:00

This is all I can offer today - the view at night - what is all I'm seeing lately with the long days.

Implementation tomorrow!

day 15

2007-11-15T16:20:00.002-05:00

Today all I can offer is a view from the roof, one I have not seen lately as my work is rather all-consuming now.

Please enjoy the view, may the warmth reach you - we have plenty to spare.

good night.

day 14

2007-11-14T03:50:00.000-05:00

Although there are a lot of cars about, after all this is the capital city, they are primarily new cars owned by those who can afford them. The majority of the labor force in this country don't have vehicles, and so the companies they work for pick them up from where they live in the mornings and take them home at night. This scene is just down the street from where I live and you can see the coverall-ed workers getting on this mini-bus going to work. There are a lot of these buses on the road. The truck in the forefront of this picture is used to haul laborers to and from job sites - these would be the guys who bust rocks beside the road, dig the ditches, work the construction sites - general laborers. The guys in the buses are a step up, they appear to be skilled workers of some sort - factory floor or better. Anyway, you'll see these trucks packed to the gills, swerving through the roundabouts. I am told they didn't used to have shelters over the truck bed, this is a recent government requirement. Apparently this shelter is to help prevent these guys from spilling out all over the place if the truck tips over. It doesn't look too effective to me, but I haven't seen an accident either. At least it provides some shelter from the direct sun, which has got to be a godsend especially in the 120 degree heat of the summer.

day 13

2007-11-13T12:15:00.001-05:00

THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! although I did think I was passing a KOA at first.

Sorry - No time today, deadlines a-looming. Be good.

day 12

2007-11-12T00:14:00.000-05:00

Today's walk discoveries: The Egyptian embassy and the Charter Council for Action. Action for what? Oh, and there was the specific institution for training in hospitality.

I haven't been able to find out much more about the tents thing, except now here's a picture for you. It was suggested to me that this is kind of a "back to their roots" thing, back to their bedouin past. In any case, it begins around this time of year and lasts until spring. Last night as we were going home we saw a kid playing with an RC car and we also saw a few campfires.

Light post today, mucho work to do, not much else happening. Das Vedanio.

Day 11

2007-11-11T01:29:00.001-05:00

I'm over here in my adult world, living with some guys, going to work with them, coming home with them. I see so few children. Sometimes when we're at lunch someone will be there with their kids. I see a few school buses in the morning, kids all sitting behind the bus windows in their uniforms. I haven't been anywhere where there would be a lot of kids. Yesterday at lunch there was a woman with two kids sitting at a table behind a partition, kids running around, she scolding them and then one of them pealed with laughter. What a beautiful sound.

My wife told me last night that my daughter has recently been through a controversy. She is an officer in a group called the Campus Nerds. They put on two haunted houses, one for kids and one for adults. Well, apparently they had a noose in the haunted house. Someone took a picture of it and made a big stink. I've been told that it made the local paper. The end result is that the Campus Nerds had to go make a formal apology to a black fraternity on campus.

The Campus Nerds is not a racist organization - it's a bunch of kids who like anime, computer gaming, etc. You know, geeks. They created a haunted house using images that have been a part of halloween since before my time. This isn't Jena. No one was trying to keep black students out. But someone got all PC on these kids and made a huge stink over nothing. I am sensitive to the legacy of slavery and the racism born of it, I grew up in an area where black people were farm hands, house maids, common laborers and were constantly reminded of their place. I understand the legacy of the KKK and the murders they committed. What I don't understand is why something so obviously not meant to be racist was deliberately made out be so. Ghosts hanging in effigy have long been a staple halloween decoration all over this country. It isn't as if hanging was solely inflicted upon black people. Hanging was the primary means of capital punishment in this country until well into the middle of this century. It was the means of execution for Saddaam Hussein. So now my daughter has been initiated into this world where speech is monitored for fear of offending someone, constantly worried that a look or a gesture will be misinterpreted as a leer or an insult. She isn't out of college yet. She's in, what was for me at least, the last insulated world she'll live in. She should be making good friends and happy memories that'll last her a lifetime, not be dumped slap into the middle of the real world where intentions don't matter and victimization rules the day.

I wish she were back at the age where all she had to worry about was if mommy was going to let her have a piece of candy before supper.

day 10

2007-11-10T02:36:00.001-05:00

During my walk today I ran across the Algerian and Senegalese embassies and the Bahrain Music Society. I am beginning to get the feeling we are in the diplomatic section of Manama. The US embassy is about a half mile from where we are staying, I haven't walked that far out yet, maybe I'll get to wave at a marine as I go by one day. The house above is close by and is indicative of homes in this part of the city. They are all behind walls and either have a strip of planting along the outside of the wall or more likely they train these bushes to grow out & over the wall. One guy has enough of an overhang to park his car under.

Today is a half day at work. Which means I'll go back to the villa and work a few hours from there. There's a rumor that we might go to the mall today, so that'll be nice.

I haven't been able to find out anything more about the tents, I'll try to tell what I've been told. In the fall & winter when it cools down people go "camping" out in these uninhabited areas. Remember I've described Bahrain as a rock covered with dust, so these are open areas outside the city crossed by the occasional road. They set tents up, they look kinda like marquee tents people in the states use for outdoor wedding receptions, only not white. These tents are dotted across the landscape. As it is early in the season, they are spread out, semi-isolated. There are also meeting areas being set up, where people can gather. I don't know what they do when they gather, that's just what I've learned so far. There will be little cold stores set up, like a miniature 7-11, so people can buy supplies. I think that they go out to their campsite on the weekends, or maybe even live out of them for periods of time. In the next few days I'll get some pictures and ask around and try to find out more for you.

Enjoy your weekend, think of me working while you're sitting around the pool.

day 9

2007-11-09T03:32:00.000-05:00

Friday! Which is Saturday for me as it is my day off. Breakfast at Ric's American - omelete and a short stack with coffee. Took a longer walk this morning, found the Iranian embassy. Started to take a picture and thought better of it when I saw the guard. Some get a bit testy about that. Saw a few more tom cats, including yesterday's - only today he was in the dumpster instead of beside it.

My return date is being extended to Dec 6th. At least that is the plan. I'm hearing December flights are fairly booked. We'll see.

I am now the chauffeur of the group. Drove to and from work yesterday and out to dinner last night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But - I am not ready for down town yet. We drive through a patch of undeveloped area every day, nothing but pipelines moving oil from the wells to tank farms. And tents. Apparently about this time every year when it cools down people set up these tents out from the city where they go to stay. I hear that it builds up, more and more tents, turning into little cities, with cold stores (the equivalent here of the corner stop-n-go, etc), central gathering places festooned with banners and the like.

So, I'll put in a few hours of work today (Maggie) tonight we grill and tomorrow back to work.

day 8

2007-11-08T01:56:00.001-05:00

I remembered to take my camera with me on my morning walk today. I hadn't seen animals or even pets since I'd been here - until I started walking in the mornings. I've only seen one stray dog, I see several people walking their dogs, and I see a handful of stray cats. This guy just happened to turn his head just as I took the picture - he had been watching something across the street. He certainly looks well fed.

I am extending my trip. There's been a series of technical glitches loading the system software and really I needed a few weeks to learn how they do things here. Laura took it pretty hard, she's had a bit of a rough time as we've had a series of problems one after another since I left. Remembering how I felt when she was in Europe with her sisters this past spring I know how she feels. I've said before that it was different for the one staying home vs. the one away. I am busy all day long. I get up, walk (the slowest part of my day) get ready and go to work, work all day, leave in the evening (6:00 PM now - since daylight savings time kicked in we are working an hour later to give us back the few hours we could talk to folks at work in the states.) get back to the apartment just long enough to scrounge dinner (go out usually). Finish supper/return to the apartment, work for about an hour (or - hallelujah, relax watch the TV or B.S.) and go to bed. I am constantly busy so I'm kept from thinking about home much. But several times during the day I find myself wishing I were home, or that Laura were here - I see something I think she'd like or something will make me laugh and I want to share it with her. And I now have to delay that for a few more weeks beyond my original return date. That was a long phone call.

Anyway, work is progressing but is still trying to kick me in the stones, so away to it.

day 7

2007-11-07T01:18:00.001-05:00

All but 2 of the US management here are leaving today and tomorrow. One of the remaining two will be leaving Sunday, I believe. I took out a pad and pen and during this morning's commute made copious notes that I am transcribing and will verify during the next trips to and from here. Hoo boy, this is about to get interesting.

During today's walk I found an "English Children's School", and Indian Ayurvedic Medical Clinic, and some kind of Bahraini Governmental Industrial training office.

Just to clear up one minor misconception - there is absolutely no sand here. All of those piles in the pictures are of dirt. This island is a big rock with lots of fine, fine particulate dirt. And dust is everywhere. Think if driving down a dirt road at 30 miles an hour in the backroads during a dry summer - the cloud of dust behind you is what happens here when the wind blows. There are guys who go around to the apartment buildings and a lot of night spots offering to wash your car while you're inside.

Work continues to kick my butt, so I will let this go for now.

Happy Trails.

day 6

2007-11-06T01:11:00.001-05:00

I got up at 6:00 AM this morning to go walking. It hadn't been my intention to do so, but I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. With all of the restaurant eating my pants have been feeling a little tight around the waist, so I off I went. I am going to try to keep it up. I learned this morning that we live near the Syrian embassy, a hospital, a Bahraini Businesswoman's institute, a Lybian Brotherhood Society, a Cultural Exchange (but which cultures are being exchanged?), and a lot of apartment buildings like ours above. Some older, one or two newer. By six AM the day is in full swing in this neighborhood as it has been daylight for about an hour and the construction sites are all buzzing. The weather is nice now, but I imagine that with temps into the 115 - 120 degree range in mid summer I can see the benefit of getting work done in the relative cool of a 5:00 AM morning. As I walk by I get an occasional nod as I pass and a few stares. The guy cutting rebar stopped as I walked by as to not shower me with sparks. I crossed the road anyway so as not to interrupt his work overly long. I think I will start getting a better feel for this country the more I wander off on my own. That opportunity will increasingly present itself as several of the guys here are rotating back to the US for vacations this week. My time behind the wheel of a vehicle, I think, is rapidly approaching. oh boy.

Things at work are getting really stressful, I've got a buttload of things to do and no time to do them, so TTFN!

day 5

2007-11-05T01:05:00.001-05:00

The week is in full swing, so I work at work, and I work at the apartment. (you see the laptops strewn about?) The pattern during the week is that we leave in the morning a few minutes after 8:00 and get to the plant @ 8:45. Work, work, work, break for lunch around noonish - at the Yum Yum Tree, say, go back to the plant, work, work, work and leave - starting today - at 6:00 PM (after dark) as now that daylight savings has kicked in the time difference between here and the east coast is now 8 hours, so working 'till six gives us back an hour when the US offices and we are working. We leave, go back to the apartments where we try to decide about supper, actually go to supper (or fix it) and come back - to work, work, work while watching TV until bedtime.

So you can see, I have an exciting time here in the mid-east! Not much to say today, so I will close this and attempt for more intriguing posts for you in the future.

day 4

2007-11-04T01:27:00.000-04:00

Just so that people don't think I'm in some lush island paradise, where everyone lies around the pool drinking beer all of the time, I thought I'd show what the scenery around the plant(s) look like. We're on the back of the industrial park with the world's largest aluminum smelting plant on one side and dusty land on the other. The funny thing to me is that the new offices at the other plant (we're supposed to be moving today - in sha' allah) have green grass out front. A narrow belt, but still.... Very unusual here - it's the only grass I've seen here.

The tarps at the bottom of the picture are shading the parking spaces. During the middle of the summer the temps hit @115 - 120F with 75% humidity so cars left in the sun will have internal temps that would cook you. BIT - not right now. Temps in the low 90s during the day, nights are getting cool. And breezy. You see these tarp/tent covers outside of any building of size - the hospital nearby, the mall, etc. Many buildings also are built with underground parking under them. Makes sense in this climate.

While traffic is wild around here, it is predictably wild. Everyone takes it in stride, a few horn blows if there's some unpredictable move, maybe a hand jesture - no big deal. But today coming to work we saw an episode of road rage. We came up on a car with Bahraini tags that had slowed beside a car with Saudi tags, windows were down and the drivers were yelling at each other. We came up behind the Bahraini, who then sped up, changed lanes pulling in front of the Saudi and then slammed on his brakes, practically stopping - in the middle of a 3 lane highway. From what I'm told, Saudi drivers are C.R.A.Z.Y and Bahrainis hate them. I've seen a few cars with Saudi plates doing twice the speed of traffic, weaving in and out like it's a formula one race. I asked if there are a lot of hand guns here, and was told no, but knives are a different matter. I figure if my driving here (which has yet to happen, but is coming I think) ever causes that level of ire, best to cut and run than stay and get cut.

Yesterday was a half-day of work at the plant. (This is the normal schedule). We went back to the apartment where I worked most of the afternoon - so Toto is still a mystery land to me. One of the big wigs here is leaving Wednesday to go home for a few weeks, he's the guy who've I've been riding around with. He's got a map he's promised me, so maybe I'll be able to use his car and map and start exploring. We'll see.

**note: I usually make a point of replying to all comments to my posts. I want to apologize for not doing so lately. I have very little time for blogging right now, and what I have is reserved for posting here during nablopomo. I do, however, read them all. I will resume doing so as I find the time.

day 3

2007-11-03T02:26:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was our day off, it being اليوم للجمع - i.e. Friday - the Muslim day of worship. I got up and a few of us went to Rick's American for breakfast - fried eggs, over easy, home fries, bacon, biscuit with sausage gravy and a bowl of grits. You know, standard middle-eastern fare. I spent a few hours working and then went up to the roof sat by the pool with a few others and b.s.'d. Afterwards I went back to the apartment, blogged a little and then we met in another apartment and cooked spaghetti for supper, with salad, bread, and apple pie with ice cream for desert. Baskin Robbins ice cream. I can't quite get over western it is here. Of course, this is this country's capital city and while there are many more europeans than americans here it is like New York, just with more dirt. You can - and many guys do - stay here for weeks eating just as you would at home.

But there is no escaping you're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. As today is a half-day of work, I hope to start searching for the wizard this afternoon, and find out if the munchkins really do eat the flying monkeys, or is that just an old-wives tale.

day 2

2007-11-02T02:50:00.000-04:00

One consequence of an arid climate with little ground cover is the dust. IT IS EVERYWHERE. Guys hang around popular places offering to wash (wipe down) your car while you eat/shop/whatever. It's been windy for the past two days, so everything is extra dusty. Today, being Friday, is the weekend. Everyone parties on Thursday night. Traffic was bumper-to-bumper downtown. That in and of itself is a topic. There are few intersections where roads cross, with traffic taking turns to go. Instead there are traffic circles everywhere. They are each of them a race, everyone jockeying to enter the circle. Nowhere else is the axiom "he who hesitates is lost" more true. You've got to be aggressive in order to get anywhere.

De asked about the food - well, since I've been here I've had Hardee's, Benegans, Rick's American, Japanese steak house, and - pakistani at a food court called the Yum Yum. The guys I'm here with have been here many times before for 3-4 weeks at a time and they all want american food. The only real arabic food I've had since being here was on the Gulf Air flight from Dubai to Bahrain. But - I've got some time, I've made known my wishes for local food.

So far, all of the boning up I did on my arabic has come to naught. Most of the people where I'm working are Pakistani. When you go to a restaurant the help is frequently Filipino. Most of the laborers here are foreign. Apparently the Bahraini are paid by the government (oil revenues, etc) so there aren't many that are laborers. This isn't unusual in this part of the world, from what I've been told and heard in the past.

Anyway, since today is a day off I'm hoping the other guys'll get up soon and we can sightsee.

And the maid - he is an unseen presence who comes during the day while we're at work. I'll post pictures of the apartment sometime soon. It's nice.

ready....., steady........go!

2007-11-01T11:27:00.000-04:00

I am going to try to keep up with nablopomo whilst in the midst of my trip. odds are I won't get very far - I haven't had more than 15 minutes for blogging since arriving, so you do the math.

In any event, I'll share the view outside of my apartment - in response to Scott's challenge from sometime back in the olden times when I was in the US and could keep up with what day it is.

These pictures were taken in front of the apartment building I'm staying in.

This is the view across the street from the entrance into the apartment building.

This is the view 90 degrees to the right.

this is the view from the window in the living room. That little slice of blue above the dirt is the Persian Gulf. There is A LOT of dirt here. This island is mostly rock. So the scenery has a overwhelming khaki color with random palms sprinkled in for a peek of greenery.

So, anyway, here's a start to the month. Wish me luck keeping up with it, the real work here hasn't even started yet.

tah dah

2007-10-29T18:54:00.000-04:00

I'm here.

jeez.

I'm soooo tired, I'm going to bed.

adios, au-revoir, aufwiedersehen

2007-10-27T20:33:00.000-04:00

I leave for Bahrain Sunday night. I have a 14 hour flight to Dubai, a 4 hour layover, and just over an hour later I arrive in Manama. Quite tired, I'm sure - which will be good as it'll be almost midnight local.

Things have been a tad busy this week. After 10 months of software development, my trip to Bahrain was finally approved - last Tuesday. I had plane tickets on Wednesday. Good thing I have a valid passport. The trip is scheduled for 3 weeks, I'll be getting home Nov. 20th. At least that's the current plan. I have 3 weeks to completely convert the data from their systems into mine, train the staff in two plants and the front office and support them after going live. I wouldn't be surprised if I wind up staying longer.

While I'm sure I'll be working long hours, especially at first, I hope to find time to explore. I'm quite looking forward to it. I haven't been able to find out much in the way of local landmarks, I'm hoping local plant management can help with that. At any rate, I'll be able to drink some european beer again. It's been 20 years since I've had a real Amstel.

I will be staying in some apartments the company rents for visitors. I think I'm expected to cook my own supper. All that way to eat ramen. But I won't have to clean up after myself, I've been told there's maid service. I sure as hell don't get that here.

We've spent all day getting ready. Did some last minute shopping. Spent the rest of the day doing laundry. And mowing the lawn. And changing the oil in Laura's car. And playing with the dog. All necessary pre-trip activities. And the most important is sitting on the kitchen counter with two glasses and a corkscrew beside it. Better get to it, can't go unprepared.

angry, moi?

2007-10-19T01:35:00.000-04:00

Last week I did an interview post with questions from liv. The first question she asked was did anything bring out the meanie in me. I've been thinking about that question since then, but in a slightly different way than I originally did. I rephrased the question to ask myself - Do I get angry. Some people get angry and then get mean. I still maintain I don't get mean, but I do get angry occasionally. so, I thought I'd answer the question again - this time addressing what makes me angry.

Before I start, I want to make the distinction that I do not equate being upset at being angry. People who know me (in the flesh, so to speak - or IRL in internet speak) sometimes mistake me being angry when I'm really just upset. And I can understand it, as both look and sound similar - to a degree. And being upset sometimes leads to being angry.

One more thing - the older I get, the more I tend to rant (like I just did over here). that is neither me being upset or me being angry. It is just me wondering what the hell is wrong with people today can't they just get with the program and by the way I have the best program. So there.

I was gently nudged after the interview post that they had seen me angry, but thought it justified and therefore didn't really call me on it. But that started me thinking about the anger part of the question. It has been bugging me, ergo this post.

I get upset when I see injustice. I get angry when I experience it. Sometimes I get over it, and sometimes I don't. Here on the internet, you don't get to see me get angry much, as I walk away from what makes me angry and come back when I'm over it. I also avoid most hot button issues (be they political or religious or whatever) because they tend to be polarizing and I don't see any point it. I'm not going to change a Bush hater into a Bush lover or visa-versa, an athiest into a fundamentalist, or visa-versa. Express your opinion on a ballot or in a pew. Or not. But not here.

Anyway - I get angry and I get over it, or I don't.

An example of when I get angry and get over it: I read A LOT of blogs written by women. I'd say 90+%. I have always had an easier time making friends with women than with men, and my blog reading habits follow. I occasionally get angry when I see statements in these blogs and their comments about sisterhood, or motherhood, or women unite, or how much better their lives would be if they lived in a creche with other mothers, or once or twice how much better the world would be if women were running things, etc. I get angry because - I'm a guy. It immediately makes me feel that I've been insulted, that I'm not wanted, that I'm not of sufficient caliber to belong - it makes me feel unwelcome. I get defensive - not all guys are jerks, it isn't a solely male perogative to be a bad parent or a bad marital partner, or bad whatever. I take it personally. But I get over it. A couple of times I've left comments to the effect that PEOPLE are bad or good, are nurturers or insensitive louts, are good parents or not - these negative traits aren't solely the male purview. But most of the time I just don't say anything because - especially of the women who've I've read for a long time - I know that they do (sometimes having to be prompted) acknowledge that assholery is not limited to the male half of the population. I just let it go.

An example of getting angry and not letting it go: A few of you know that 3 years ago my son attempted suicide. He was in his first semester of college and living with my parents. They had gone out of town for a long weekend and came home to find my son had been throwing up all over the house, was passed out on the bed and they couldn't hardly wake him up. They called me and I came and got him and took him to the doctor. His doctor had us take him to the ER. The short story is that the doctor and the hospital assumed that he was a drug addict and this was an overdose - because his asthma meds showed a false positive for amphetamines on a broad spectrum drug test. Even though his tests clearly showed that his condition was caused by an excess of tylenol. (He came within a hairsbreadth of permanently damaging his liver or even losing it). What made me really really angry was that after a few days when he was lucid and he told the doctor what he OD'd on, his doctor refused to give a referral to psychiatric help because he felt that drug addicts did not do well in mental heath treatment. A few weeks after my son got out of the hospital I finally convinced the doctor to give him the referral (which my insurance required) but only if he passed a urinalysis to show he wasn't using. I am still angry as I write this, it burns deep inside me. I have no respect at all for this doctor and have lost a good measure of respect for doctors in general. I can find no excuse for him not only giving up on my son, but not even wanting to cooperate with me on me getting him the help he so desperately needed.

Most things I can shake off. I flare for a moment and then get over it and forget it. When I wrote my response to Liv's question I really had forgotten about the times when I'd left a snarky comment or rant on someones' blog. I started remembering them and here we are.

4's meme

2007-10-15T20:27:00.000-04:00

in the interest of responding to at least one of the meme's I was tagged for (by the same @#$% blogger, but she's forgiven in the interest of blogger harmony and lower blood pressure) I'll repeat this one (as it's easier than the other!).

Four jobs I've held
a. grocery store general dogsbody/assistant
b. tree & limb general dogsbody/assistant
c. fish camp kitchen assistant
d. farm hand

Four films I could (do) watch over and over
a. Mr. Hulot's Holiday
b. North by Northwest
c. Young Frankenstein
d. Bringing up Baby

Four TV shows I watch
a. My Name Is Earl
b. The Daily Show
c. How It Is Made
d. Holmes on Homes

Four places I've lived
a. Monterey, CA
b. Glen Burnie, MD
c. San Rafael, CA
d. Ocean Springs, MS

Four favorite foods
a. falafel
b. my wife's meatloaf
c. german brotchen
d. peach nehi

Four websites I visit daily
a. earthlink email portal
b. the Houston Chronicle comics page
c. the New York Times
d. The Morning News

Four favorite colors
a. blue
b. depends on what it is and where it is as to what color I would like it to be.

Four places I would love to be right now
a. the beach
b. the mountains
c. on a mission to mars
d. on a cruise on the Nile

Four names I love but wouldn't/couldn't use for your children
a. Brittany Kay
b. Mephistopheles
c. Genevieve
d. butros butros ghali

Four last books you read
a. Tales of Ten Worlds, Arthur C. Clark
b. Lamb, Christopher Moore
c. Mr. Moto's Three Aces, John P. Marquand
d. Going Postal, Terry Pratchett

As per usual, I tag no one, and everyone - who cares to participate.

....begins with the fist step

2007-10-12T10:45:00.000-04:00

Poor internets, I am neglecting you so. Things are getting busy around here, my oft-postponed trip to Bahrain is actually rapidly approaching. The travel dates haven't been selected, but all the preparation will be completed by the end of this month, so sometime in November......

It's looking like I will be gone for about 4 weeks and will probably repeat next spring (in between a trip to Pakistan will probably occur). So, I'm busy looking at visa requirements, getting an international driver's license (haven't had one of those in 17 years), checking for immunization requirements, reading up on the area, brushing up my arabic, etc. I'm having a difficult time concentrating on other things -like posting on my blog. I do take occasional breaks to read your blogs, though - all work, no play drives Bob nuts.

I did play a little last weekend, I went to Mountain Day. This is an annual celebration of the birthday of the founder of Berry College - Martha Berry. I meet my best friend (and roommate while there) almost every year there and we putz around, looking to see if we recognize anyone and walk around the main campus to see what's changed. The trip is mostly an excuse to spend some time with him, the college has changed so much and although it is a beautiful as ever (there's a slide-show like banner on the link above and here's a link to other pictures) every year I feel more and more detached from the school itself. I guess it's a combination of the changes there as well as the additional years of separation from who I was then vs. who I am now. So, less nostalgia, more how're things going (with beer and natchos) and a good time was had by all.

Liv's Interview

2007-10-03T12:15:00.000-04:00

Liv over at Madness, Madness I Say offered to extend the 5 question interview meme to those who volunteered and despite my military background (the first thing they teach you in basic is NEVER volunteer for anything. look what happened the last time you raised your hand.....) I raised my hand.

1) You remind me of that line in "As Good As It Gets," where Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall says to Helen Hunt, "in every single thought that you have, [and how] you say what you mean, and [how] you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good." Is there ever a time where some inner "meanie" comes out? What is Bob's break point?

This is a difficult question as I rarely find myself in a confrontational situation (i.e. - a fight or knock down, drag out argument). I have A LOT of patience, I don't like to hurt other people's feelings, and I can usually find a way to see the other person's viewpoint even if I don't agree with it. So I rarely find myself in a situation where I want to deliberately hurt someone. Something happened years ago that has helped me develop this. The kids were maybe 4, and 5. I was in a particularly bad depressive cycle and they were doing something or another that really annoyed me and I snapped - I yelled at them. I have a very loud voice. I scared the hell out of them and I could see that. It about crushed me, seeing what my selfishness and lack of control did to them. I am so very ashamed of that. That was 15, 16 years ago and it still hurts. These days, I do my best to keep from putting myself in the position of reaching that breaking point.

I asked Laura if she remembered the last time I was mean to someone and all she could come up with was sometime recently I was on the phone with our help desk - one of the plants had called them with a problem and they called me late one night - she said that, while I wasn't rude, I was plainly annoyed. The situation wasn't a real emergency and it was late and the problem was something they had been trained to handle and this was someone who should've known better. I try not react like that because I want them to feel free to call me so that when they have a real problem they'll call instead of attempting to handle it themselves - and probably make it worse.

***edited to add*** Meno has reminded me of an incident! I left a rude comment on her blog, but immediately deleted it. The person I made the comment about never saw it, but Meno did. So I apologized to Meno. I am glad that it wasn't seen by the intended recipient, it wouldn't have accomplished anything except engender ill feelings.

2) You've danced around some dicey situations at work which led to some darker posts in midsummer. Where are you with that? Can you say?

While being as honest as I know how to be here, I don't mention specifics out of a ?misguided? sense of discretion. So, without directly naming the company I work for, I work for a textile manufacturing firm that had, as recently as 5 years ago, over 30 plants. 15 years ago, over 40. This company has been closing them down and, like most textiles today, is sourcing goods from overseas. We have 10 plants now, 2 of which are closing and 3 more of which are rumored to close by end of 1st quarter next year. Plain and simple, it is driving me nuts. I HATE that all of these people are being put out of work. Thousands of them. The system I support is used in all of our plants, so I personally know 10-20 people at each plant that have lost their jobs. Some of them with 20, 30, and some even 40 or more years with this company (and it's predecessors). I hate that the goods we are buying are (not always, but usually) of inferior quality that what we produced domestically. I hate that I've been here 17 years and am being forced to consider that I will soon have to look for another job. (soon = next year?, 18 months? 24 months?) So, the dicey situation at work is me being unhappy. I am dealing with it. I am doing my best to keep what is left of the company competitive, within the limits of what I control.

3) Beyond what the post of music selections in your last post, what are you listening to these days? Is there any new band or singer that's doing it for you?

I don't buy a lot of music when it comes out. For example, it took me 4 years to buy Black Eyed Peas album Elephunk, but it's in my CD player right now. Another older album I've bought recently and have been listening to a lot is Moby - Hotel. It is a two disc set, one of which is ambient - the one I usually listen to. I scanned the Bilboard charts to see if there was anyone there who I listen to/like and there are a few - Nickelback, Pink, and Matchbox Twenty are all groups I like. A group new to me is Plain White T's. I really like their single Hey There Delilah, I've heard it on the radio a good bit and I'd like to hear more of their stuff. But my most recent acquisition is an album I've wanted for years and could never find. It is listed on the music post, but since it is my most recent obsession I'll mention it here - The soundtrack to the Gene Wilder/Richard Prior movie Silver Streak. I LOVE IT. (the movie too!) I am a big, big, big Henry Mancini fan. As it turns out the soundtrack never had been released by the studio nor Henry Mancini, which is why I couldn't find it. Until now. I finally found it on an obscure label who's purpose is to find and release soundtracks such as this. The last album before this that I bought and played incessantly was Green Day's American Idiot. As it happens, their album Nimrod is in my wife's car's CD player right now.

4) A quote attributed to you is, "I will tell you that your supper was excellent even if I had trouble choking it down." (ahem.) If I were cooking dinner for you, what would be the perfect meal in your estimation?

ahem yourself! I like trying new food, finding out about dishes other people like and then seeing for myself. When I travel I like to find what the local specialties are and give them a go. If I get to go to Philadelphia I intend to visit the home of the philly cheese steak (Pat's AND Geno's). If I get to go to Chicago I intend to find the home of the deep-dish pizza - Pizzeria Uno. Etc., etc., you get the idea. So, the perfect meal for you to fix for me would be......a meal of your absolute favorite dishes. I would help make them and you would tell me as we eat why they mean so much to you, which would make it even more special.

5) Crete, huh? I'm pretty passionate about Greece, and am wondering what you think is so magical about the country that those who have spent any amount of time there hold the memories as delicately as a basket of peacock eggs.

A lot of what made Greece magical for us was - us. We lived on Crete for two years, moving there during our first year of marriage. Those first few years of marriage are an intense time for a couple and "things" mean so much. Also, both our kids were born there. Instead of Laura going to Germany to have the kids in an american military hospital and me quite possibly not able to be there, we decided to have them in a local maternity clinic. I was there. Aside from us, and more directly answering your question - One reason would be the people. We lived on the second story of a two story house, the owner lived downstairs. They involved us in their lives. One evening I had just gone to bed (I had a day shift coming up and had to be up at 5:00) when the owner's wife came knocking on the door and invited us down, their daughter had just got engaged and they were throwing a party. There were 30 or so people there, both families as well as friends and neighbors from the village, including their priest. They asked that we and the babies come down to join them. Oh - Greek people LOVE children. They are a family people. Everywhere we went, the women wanted to hold the babies, asking us their names, how old they were, etc. etc. We were flying home for a visit and were in the airport in Athens. There were a ton of the typical Greek old women there - you know, black shawl, black scarf over their head, black skirt, clunky black shoes - and we joined the line. It wasn't a minute before they started coming up, wanting to see our baby - he was passed from woman to woman all over they airport lobby. Wherever we traveled on the island, we found the Greek people to be warm, out-going, and hospitable. They'd invite you in, break out the raki, or that wickedly strong coffee - don't drink to the bottom of the cup or you'll get coffee mud. In addition to the people, the country is beautiful. You've seen the pictures. And history is all around you. The Minoans were sailing the mediterranean about 5 thousand years ago. There is some minor contention about whether the minoans influenced the egyptians or the egyptians the minoans. Everywhere you turn is something a few thousand years old - the palace at Knossos, the legendary home of the minotaur and the original labyrinth, as an example.

I am sure that this is not unique to Greece, but I haven't visited anyplace yet that matches it.

I am also sure that anyone's experience of anywhere they go is what they make of it. There were some people there when we were that hated it. I invariably find that when discussing traveling or living in other parts of the world someone will say that they didn't like it and then list their grievances. I've lived in a good handful of places here in the states and in a few overseas, and while there are some places I wouldn't necessarily want to live again, there was always something about every place that I liked.

the solstice has slipped

2007-10-01T23:54:00.000-04:00

I was getting ready for work this morning and went into the bathroom to take a shower. This being a getting-on-for 70 year-old house we have no central A/C and so the bathroom window is kept open - in a futile attempt at a little air circulation. I started to shiver a bit in the morning coolness and ran a hot shower. I got into the shower, stepped into the water stream and that WONDERFUL feeling of hot water enveloping me, the initial sting of heat and then the relaxing warmth ran through me and I realized - this was my first hot shower since, what, March? April at the latest. I actually had to turn the hot water faucet further than a centimeter.

Fall might just have fallen.

Friday Miscellany

2007-09-28T21:27:00.000-04:00

I finished testing a system change at 4:30 today and didn't really want to start something else, especially as it would take longer than the half hour I had left in my day. I've been wanting to do a music post of some sort, but I can't do the kind I want because blogger doesn't offer any space to store music files. Anyway, I've got a drawer full of CDs at work and a handful stacked on my computer. They've accumulated over time as I take in one I particularly want to listen to that day. So, I thought I'd build a list of what music I have at work and I could post it here.

I was going to post it here. I have 90 CDs at work. I didn't realize it was that many. So - I'm not going to type all of that here, but I thought I'd list some of them - a cross section of what I have.

The Corrs, Forgiven Not Forgotten.
Bela Fleck & The Flecktones, Left of Cool
K.D. Lang, Ingenue
Major Glen Miller and the Army Air Force Band, 1943-1944
The Cure, Mixed Up
Blink 182, Take Off Your Pants And Jacket
Pink Floyd, Animals
Bonnie Raitt, Nick of Time
Paul Simon, The Rhythm Of The Saints
Tracy Chapman, New Beginning
Everclear, Songs From An American Movie Vol. One, Learning How To Smile
REO Speedwagon, The Hits
Barry White, All-Time Greatest Hits
Liz Story, My Foolish Heart
Eric Clapton, Unplugged
Jeff Lynne, Armchair Theatre
Depeche Mode, Violator
The B52's, Time Capsule
Ravi Shankar, Bridges
Coldplay, A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Aaron Copeland, Copeland the Populist (Rodeo, Billy The Kid, The Appalachian Spring)
Dave Grusin, Homage To Duke
The Mills Brothers, mix cd
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Deja Vu
Chet Atkins, The Essential Chet Atkins
Duran Duran, The Wedding Album
Chick Corea, Solo Improvisations From Japan
Scott Joplin, Collection
Henry Mancini, Silver Streak
Barenaked Ladies, Stunt

I guess 30 is enough for going on with here. A third of the collection. See anything you like? Not much new (I could have listed Corinne Bailey Rae - I guess I just did, K.T. Tunstall too - both given me by my daughter, probably in a futile attempt to update my musical tastes.) Kinda mixed, but I wanted to try show a cross section. Maybe you can tell me if one stirs a particular memory?

I hope you all have a good weekend.

.....finish last?

2007-09-20T23:20:00.000-04:00

damn. I can't believe it's been two weeks. I am all scattered these days.

I am so scattered, in fact, it has taken me a week to acknowledge that Liv was sweet enough to give me this:

she is, of course, utterly delusional - but as she's been under a wee bit of stress lately, what with the moving and being near-death with the crud and all, I'll not burst her bubble.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I've always been the nice guy. I.e. not the one the girls fight over, but the one they complain to when he didn't pick them. So I suffer silently and hold their hand and tell them what a jerk he is not to recognize what a great catch she is and that he's not worth it anyway.

ANYWAY.

I have just spent a gajillion dollars on plane/car reservations for our trip to Kansas City. We are spending Christmas with Laura's family this year. It'll be the first trip since Laura's mom passed away and it'll be.....weird. I offered Laura a chance to go over labor day weekend and she wasn't ready for that first trip back yet. But by December I think enough time will have passed,Laura will have had time to prepare and having her family around will help. Maybe it'll be a white Christmas!

P.S. What exactly is in that picture? It looks like a woman's bare back w/brastrap and a ?knee? in the foreground, or maybe she's got scoliosis and has an extremely narrow posterior?

watching the tide

2007-09-06T16:05:00.000-04:00

I figured I'd better write something here before the lock seizes up from rust and I cannot get in anymore.

It seems I have an inexhaustible supply of exhaustion lately, coupled with a complete lack of anything interesting going on. net effect, nothing blog-worthy for blog about. I guess I could say that Pat Benetar still has decent chops and was enjoyable despite, or maybe because of, the rainstorm. and that my wallet is now pink on one side, with the cordovan dye washed out of it (and into my pocket lining instead). and that when people started leaving my semi-drunk friend started calling them names, yelling that a little rain never hurt anyone (we'd both had about a six-pack by that time). and that we changed clothes behind the car, in the dark, hoping that no-one would enter or leave the parking lot, so of course while I was changing my idiot friend opened his door, turning on all of the interior lights just as someone was walking through the parking lot (poor guy, saw more than he was expecting....).

but that is boring stuff to anyone but him and me - just another war story to bore other people with next year.

I guess waiting for inspiration to strike, for something I think is interesting to anyone other than me, is turning into this miasma of nothingness that is my blog. I miss the interaction with y'all, writing the occasional comment on your (collective) blogs just ain't getting it. There's a few people I am worried about, De being sort-of overwhelmed with moving, Liv closing on her first house and moving, J seems to have found a mass in her breast, Egan having his world turned upside down and is anticipating separation anxiety (his), Scott's sister having cancer and his just having lost his dearest canine friend, Chani needing to find a community of like-minded thai-ists, etc. I don't say much lately, 'cause whatever I try to say comes out trite in the face of whatever is going on.

don't get me wrong, there's good too - amusing kicked some grad-school butt and is now available to be snapped up by some forward thinking company, grannyvibe has kicked cancer's ass, her 6 month MRIs are clear, meno is her usual, imperturbable self (except when being mistaken for someone ready for an AARP membership), Mir is slowly learning how to be a southern belle, Jen is finding unexpected joy in a 3 year-old package, etc.

And here I am, sitting on the bay watching the world cruise by on it's way to wherever it's going.

I'll be here when it gets back.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr

2007-08-22T17:35:00.000-04:00

I am so mad I could spit.

Two weeks ago the HR office (about 10 states away from here) from my wife's company mailed out their yearly request for verification of my daughter Kristina's status as a full-time college student, as she is over 17 and therefore not eligible for coverage under their health insurance unless she's a full-time college student. We couldn't get the verification at the time because the semester hadn't started, but we weren't worried since school started on the 16th and the deadline for turning in the verification wasn't until the 24th. Plan A: the normal way to obtain this verification is to request it over the university's web site. So, on the 17th we went to the web site and requested the verification, but the most current information was for the (since finished) summer semester. Nothing to show she was registered, paid, and attending classes for the current semester. Enter plan B: I drive down on the following Monday to talk to the registrars office in person to explain our delimma. I meet my daughter and we go in together. We are told that the web site isn't updated with information about the current semester until drop/add is over, but not to worry, fill out this form and it will be processed in 2 to 3 business days (she actually said business days!). So my daughter goes in today (2nd business day) and is told that she cannot get a verification letter until at least tomorrow, probably the next day as the information won't be in their computer until at least then.

never mind that their computer knows she's fully paid for the semester and never mind that her schedule is in their computer showing she's taking a full load, apparently the computer in the registrars office doesn't talk to the computer in the financial aid department. This lady doesn't care about health insurance, doesn't care about my daughter or her problems. If it isn't in her computer, there is nothing she can do. I am driving down again tomorrow and see if I cannot make her care.

you know, these days going to college is all about the internet. You can apply to the school and be accepted (or be rejected) on-line, apply and receive (or be rejected) financial aid on-line, register for classes on-line, your advisor review and release your schedule on-line and show up for classes (which are sometimes on-line) all without ever having talked to a person. How efficient. When I went to college you had to fill out a paper application, mail it in, and then be interviewed by someone in admissions before you were accepted (or rejected) by the school. You then filled out LOTS of forms for financial aid and then sit down to talk to someone in the financial aid office before you got (or was rejected for) financial aid. You then had to actually, honest-to-god, MEET with your advisor - who actually talked to you about your wants and needs, career and life goals, who then actually ADVISED you as to what degree to try for, what classes to take (and at least for your freshman year) had to sign a piece of paper to show they had advised you and approved your classes. You then had to go through the circus of signing up for classes (1000 students in a hot sweaty gym running around to different tables to sign up for each class hoping there were seats available by the time you reached the front of the line - but sometimes you could talk the professor into letting you in even if the class were full if you REALLY needed the class THAT QUARTER or you wouldn't be able to graduate on time.

There were people in the process who's job it was to evaluate each student individually, taking into account each's needs. After all, college is about teaching people, right?

but not today. today it's all on-line, fill out this web-form and wait for an email.

Several years ago, when my son was a freshman at this same university, he was hospitalized for a week, and had to spend two weeks at home recovering. While he was in the hospital I called his advisor and told her about his situation. She sent her best wishes, said not to worry about classes right now, for him to contact her when he was able to go back to school. 3 weeks later he calls her to ask what he needed to do about the missed time and she didn't even know who he was. He was listed in the university's system as withdraw-fail for not showing up for classes. I called her and asked what was going on, she told me that when I called she thought he was a student in one of her classes (which he wasn't), that it wasn't her responsibility to let his other professors know about his hospitalization and subsequently not attending classes - it was my son's. So I then go to see the dean of students, who was the first (and) last person I talked to there who took a personal interest in my son. While she couldn't override the departmental head's decisions regarding my son's status in their classes, she did call and personally speak to them letting them know why he was out. Each department then worked with my son, letting each of his professors know why he was out and in each case they let him resume classes and worked with him to make up missed classwork and tests. The Dean of students had shown me that someone did care, that there were people dedicated to the kids and not just drawing a paycheck, that this was truly an institution of learning and not some unfeeling corporation with limited resources and a bottom line to consider above all else.

and then this stuff happened. (I didn't even tell you about the parent loan application I submitted to cover room & board for this year. I was afraid I'd pop a vein if I continued the rant. more stuff to straighten out tomorrow.)

I have always revered education. it is your path out of ignorance, an opportunity for you to grow as a person and to gain the knowledge to improve yourself. I have always held academic institutions in the highest regard, special places where kids are allowed to finish growing up and be launched into adulthood. When I went to college I was made to feel like they were there for me, to help me be whoever I wanted to be. I envied my children when they started college, here was their turn to have that experience. Instead, it's one gigantic faceless bureauocracy. hell, that's just like work.

2007-08-16T11:57:00.000-04:00

Hello. hello. hello. Is there anybody out there?

Thank you all for being patient with me and for the encouragement, your comments to my last post brought me many a needed smile.

Amusing has tagged me for this @#$%&*! meme, which has caused me much angst. I am not very good at tooting my own horn. It took me some thought go come up with these.

10 Things I Like About Me

intelligent. No rocket scientist here, but moderately smart. If I can’t always grasp the details of something, I can almost always understand the concept.
polite, considerate of others. I cannot remember deliberately saying or doing something to cause someone hurt (since I’ve been an adult). In fact, I will often suffer myself instead of hurting others.
good listener. I often find myself the receiver of confidences and/or a sounding board for someone else’s problems.
loyal & trusting. I take people at face value and trust them until they give me a concrete reason not to – and then I feel as if I’ve been betrayed.
good friend. I have few friends, but I will do almost anything for those I have.
responsible. It is rare that I make a commitment and don’t deliver.
thorough. I can’t stand to do things half-assed. This frequently keeps me from starting something, as I don’t want to not be able to do a good job of it.
open to new experiences. I like trying new things, going places I haven’t been before.
I can see both sides of an issue. I frequently will take up the opposite side of a debate if I think someone is less aware or accepting of the opposing point of view.
thirst for knowledge. I want to know stuff. I like learning new things.

I have to be honest and say that I slip-up on some of these every so often, but these are things I value and am proud of about myself.

I don't generally tag people for memes, so only if the mood strikes, take up the gauntlet.......

Roger & David, they knew something.......

2007-07-30T12:58:00.000-04:00

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

I haven't posted in a while. There are several reasons, some practical, some not.

Come on, now.
I hear youre feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Work has take a large part of my energy the last 3 weeks. A project we've been working on since January was implemented the weekend before last, and we've been cleaning up since. It has been difficult to think of anything else lately.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

Summer has hit full blast. The drought from the beginning of summer has given away to rain, rain, rain. At least, so it seems. I try to mow the lawn, or work on the house, or go outside to play with the dog and it starts sprinkling, or it's just finished raining.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.

But it's more than work or the weather. I've been mired in melancholia for a while now. I don't seem to have any mental energy. I've no creative energy. I can't find anything I'm sufficiently interested in to blog about. I read your blogs and I am hard pressed to find a comment, so they wind up being half-assed, superficial blurbs.

When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

I read through posts or comments of the people who went to Blogher and see the enthusiam and the obvious blast that it was and (other than a slight envy that people are meeting in person) all I get out of it is a "eh, so" kinda feeling.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick. [ping]
Therell be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

I don't know right now what I can do to kick myself in the ass and wake up here. It isn't that there aren't things to look forward to. I'm 6 - 8 weeks from my trip to Bahrain. I had been tutoring myself in Arabic, trying to pick it back up and I've lost interest in that too.

Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. good.
Thatll keep you going for the show.
Come on its time to go.

I did wake up briefly for HP7, but that was quickly gone too (I read too damned fast). The movie was good, saw it the same day I bought the book. Somehow, I don't think Balls of Fire will make up for the ending of the HP series.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.

So, this is why I'm not on top of my game right now. It's been easier not to post than to. But I haven't stopped trying. The pendulum will swing, as it always does, and I will get back into things. Just be patient with me, I would appreciate it.

When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

little black cloud........

2007-07-17T15:22:00.000-04:00

"gloom, despair, agony on me.
deep, dark depression, excessive misery
if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
gloom, despair, agony on me."

crappy week so far, hopin' for better.

school daze

2007-07-11T23:42:00.000-04:00

in a fit or originality (not) I thought I'd steal this meme from meno.

High School

(just as a preface, I went to 3 different high schools, but all of this is from the last where I was a jr. and sr.)

1. Who was my best friend? Van. He and I hung out and double-dated until we graduated. He and I went to different colleges. After our first quarter (I finished before he did) he invited me to spend the weekend with him on campus. It took him all weekend to work up the nerve to tell me he was gay. I didn't care. from then on, whenever he and I were back in our hometown at the same time, he would take me to the greatest (gay) bars I never knew existed and we would dance the night away. I learned a lot about how gay people are treated here in the south (and maybe everywhere) and it left me with the ability to accept people for who they are and not what they do. I also learned how to gracefully turn down offers for "dates".

2. What sports did you play. none. didn't have the jock mentality, and high school and college sports in the rural south are almost a religion and me an atheist.....

3. What kind of car did you drive? an early-seventies Mercury Comet for basic transportation. it had a 3-speed manual and was fun to drive. For dates I would drive a 1972 Pontiac Catalina ( a boat of a car with bench seats front and back. GREAT make-out car). for special occasions I begged to use our "good" car, a 1978 Buick LaSabre - turbocharged!.

4. It's Friday night, where were you? During football season I would hit the local pizza joint. off-season, I was at home. date night was usually Saturday night for me.

5. Were you a party animal? oh, hell no. I was reclusive, wasn't part of any "in" group.

6. Were you considered a flirt? oh, hell no. (see above). I was also painfully shy around girls.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? I was in the marching band, orchestra, and jazz band. (marching band = football season after game pizza joint)

8. Were you a nerd? we were called squares back then.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled? oh, hell no. (see #5 & 6).

10. Can you sing the fight song? I remember we had one, I had to play it in band, but since I was always playing it I don't ever remember learning the words. In any case, I can't remember the tune nor the lyrics.

11. Who was your favorite teacher? I guess I would have to say our band director. He worked our asses off but we consistantly made 1's in our competitions.

12. School Mascot? raiders (pirate).

13. Did you go to prom? I went to my junior prom but not my senior. I had broken up with the girl I had invited to the junior prom a month or so before it occured but we went anyway. we wound up getting back together sometime during my senior year and we were still together when I left town to go to college. it didn't last my first quarter.

14. If you could go back and do it over, would you? oh hell, no. (I wrote about this briefly here.) The gist is that I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't been the person I was then. but that isn't to say I haven't thought about it!

15. What do you remember most about graduation? losing my tassel when tossing my cap at the end of the ceremony. I was an honor student and it was a special tassel and I was proud of that/it. I went to the school the next day and scrounged another one.

16. Where were you on senior skip day? we didn't have an official senior skip day, and I wasn't hip enough to know if an unofficial one was planned/taken.

17. Did you have a job your senior year? I worked weekends at the local library in the fine arts department - Van was working there and let me know of an opening. The director of the department was openly gay and he wound up hitting on me one night. I was "rescued" from him by the deputy director of the library that night and upon, in turn, I hit on. after I left the library (when I went to college) my former boss was brought up on charges for making anonymous threatening phone calls to another official at the library. I had a second job during the summer after I graduated high school cutting down trees.

18. Where did you go most often for lunch? I didn't each lunch, I went to the school library and worked.

19. Have you gained weight since then? oh, hell yes.

20. What did you do after graduation? During the summer worked for a one-man tree service. Usually I would drive his dump truck and load it with what he had cut down, but I did climb & cut for some time while he recovered from falling out of a tree and spiking himself. near the end of the summer he was driving me over to pick up the dump truck when someone ran out into the road in front of us and we hit him. As it turned out Gary (the one-man) had a suspended license from a DUI so he ran from the scene. After spending 20 minutes at his aunt & uncle's house trying to establish an alibi, Gary took me back to my car and I split. I called the cops and they asked me to help look for him, so I spent the next hour riding around town in a cop car scared shitless we would actually find him (he was made of muscles and had a hell of a temper) - but we didn't. (he turned himself in the next day). needless to say, that was the end of that job. I started college that fall.

21. When did you graduate? 1980.

22. Who was your prom date? I am ashamed to say I cannot remember her name right now. We didn't go to the same high school so I can't look at my annual to see. weird thing is, even though I can't remember her name, I can still see her face and I still know how to get to her house.

23. Are you going/did you go to your 10 year reunion? nope.

24. Who was your home room teacher? don't have a clue.

25. Who will repost this after you? don't have a clue. I'm not omnipotent either.

TGIF - I think?

2007-07-06T23:10:00.000-04:00

***edited, go to bottom***

here's a summary of how my week has gone:

Saturday - I installed a window and prepared the wall for the siding.

Sunday - biweekly visit to mom & dad. left mid-afternoon to start on siding and the flooding commenced. got donuts instead.

Monday - sunny all day, left work to start on siding and it started sprinkling. just enough to keep the weeds growing, and to prevent wall construction. ate rest of donuts.

Tuesday - ditto, except with jello & cool whip.

Wednesday - work from 9:00 AM to 9:30 PM putting up siding. fell off of ladder onto old A/C window unit, huge scratch and massive bruise on thigh. (very impressive, too. I'd post a picture but it frightens even me, I don't want to make the internets green around the gills).

Thursday - find out daughter's laptop battery won't hold a charge, take out second mortgage to buy new one. ipod will have to wait until I can spare a kidney.

Friday - come home, plug my cell phone in to charge - it won't charge. battery almost dead. (there are numbers in there I don't have anywhere else and don't know how to replace). time for new cell phone? start on trip to visit hardware store and cell phone store and supper and car breaks down halfway between towns on interstate - in a almost dead spot for cell signal. it starts to rain. do the bizarre-gestures-like-for-surrealist-painting-find-cell-signal-pose and yell into phone and redial umpteen times to call for tow truck & daughter to come get us. (knew there was a reason I kept up the roadside insurance w/Laura's cell phone.) wait 1.5 hours for tow and when it finally arrives and is being winched up onto the truck a part falls out from the engine compartment. take car to shop, resume interrupted trip for hardware getting to the store 20 minutes before close and do my best O.J. Simpson airport impression to get stuff (on opposite sides of cavernous building - of course) - and finally eat supper.

tomorrow - find out if it will take an arm or an arm and a leg to fix the car, start putting the trim back up around the eaves to finally finish wall, and hope I can stay on the damned ladder this time.

if I don't surface after the weekend, you'll know it was 'cause one more incident pushed me over the edge and my head exploded. send CSI over, it will take a whole team to find what's left of my sanity.

addenda

I decided (at her insistence) that since urban-urchin was brave enough to show her injuries, mine couldn't be ALL that bad, so:

actually, it looks better today than it did a day or so ago.

also, I want to leave you with an exchange between the tow truck guy and Laura:

TTG: What year is this jeep?

L: 1988

TTG: And it's still running. (in an admiring tone)

L: it was until a few minutes ago.

8 Things meme

2007-06-29T13:22:00.000-04:00

At first I thought I could maybe come up with 8 interesting things about me to share, but the longer I worked on the list the more it became just 8 things about me. I had to struggle to actually come up with 8 things period, but I am nothing if not stubborn so here are 8 things.

when I was a young teen I used to sneak my mother's romance novels from her room and search for the sex.
from when I was 4 until I was 8 I lived in germany. I spoke german idiomatically (purely in self defense, we lived in a german village and all of my friends were german) but remember virtually none of it. whenever I struggle for a word in any foreign language now, german pops to the top. I have learned (and mostly forgotten) german, spanish, pidgeon greek, and arabic - so far.
I have long white nose hairs that I have to pluck. (related to this?)
I have recently pretended to remember someone when I didn't have a clue. (I have a terrible memory for names, too.)
I am told that I am distantly related to Jimmy Carter (via the marriage of a (now deceased) great aunt). I haven't presumed on that supposed relationship, but I would dearly love to meet him.
I hate to perpetuate a stereotype, but I think farts are funny. And I have denied that it was me, even though it was.
Once, when I was in college, I had "exclusive" relationships with 3 women at the same time. (I am not particularly proud of that, and have not done so since.)
I will tell you that your supper was excellent even if I had trouble choking it down. ('cause my momma raised me right.)

I didn't think I lived in the backwoods

2007-06-26T23:25:00.000-04:00

there is a baby possum hiding somewhere in my utility room.

***update***

it is nowhere to be found. both times it was seen, it scarpered behind the washing machine & dryer. We looked behind and under both appliances and it was not there. BUT - the dryer vent has a hole in it (big enough for a large rat or rat looking creature), and the vent on the outside of the house has no cap. So, we think it was coming and going through the vent to get to the cat food. I have blocked the end of the vent (without backing up the actual venting process of the dryer) until I can get to the store this weekend to buy a vent cap for outside.

mystery solved. (I think)

blah de blah blah

2007-06-21T17:51:00.000-04:00

I have had the most difficult time lately coming up with something to write about. Part of the reason is that I am normally a reticent person - once past the first blush of acquaintanceship where you talk about your history and discover your mutual likes and dislikes - I am normally the listener in any conversation. Even with Laura - she does 90% of all of the talking. I've been blogging just long enough that the remaining topics I am considering writing about will wind up being longer projects (living on crete, for example) and I just don't have the energy right now to find pictures, check my version against Laura's better memories for fill-in-the-gap and correction and do the hard work of crafting a travelogue.

So, today you get...........movies. (I know, big whoop.)

I really, really like movies. I don't actually get to see many new ones. We don't have a local theater, so a movie outing to the nearest one involves a round trip of @40 miles. So - I have to rely on movie channels. Once in a blue moon, when I'm feeling down, I will stay up all night watching movies. (Isn't cable wonderful?) I dip into movies to try them out, sometimes staying, sometimes moving on if it doesn't grab me (I see a lot of pieces of movies). Here's some I've dipped into within the past week:

Love comes to the Executioner (bizarre, kinda liked it)
Mumford (I really liked this one)
Clueless
Psycho Beach Party (parody of '60s beach movies - fun)
Superman Returns (I've only seen the last 20 minutes, I'll eventually see the whole thing)
The Deer Hunter (I can't watch the whole movie again, it was tough to watch the first time.)
Die Hard 3 (I like action movies, I liked 1 and 3, 2 not so much)
That Thing You Do (light fare, not so bad for Tom Hanks first write/direct/produce effort)
The Mark of Zorro (I didn't know that Banderas made a sequel to the his first Zorro movie...ehh)
Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo (don't ask, I didn't hang around long)
The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly (the 2nd best of Leone's spaghetti westerns - Once Upon a Time in the West is a little better, but I have always liked Clint Eastwood's westerns)
Comanche Station (good oater with Randolph Scott)
Six Days, Seven Nights (okay, not much to write home about)
Delicatessen(bizarre french film - black comedy - set in a post-apocalyptic france where the landlord(butcher) of a building kills and dismembers people to provide meat for the tenants of the building.)

I will watch almost any kind of movie - I only actively shun the modern gory horror movies. I was going to list my favorites, but there are way, way to many. I particularly like comedy/satire, old westerns, old war movies, foreign films, and a good many of the action movies. I usually prefer the originals instead of the remakes, although the Birdcage was better (to me) than La Cage aux Falles - it was a bit too vicious for me. The original Producers was better too, I thought that Matthew Broderick didn't do enough to make the role his own, he spent too much time (poorly) being Gene Wilder. I haven't seen much of The Shop around the Corner, but You've got Mail is okay. Stalag 17 was the inspiration for the TV show Hogan's Heros - but is no comparison. I like (some) animated movies, I am a big fan of Nick Park (Wallace & Grommit) from way back. Pixar has made some good ones, it is amazing what computers can do these days. I enjoy camp - or satire - depending on the emphasis. Lust in the Dust and Rustler's Rhapsody are particular favorites, John Waters made some really good ones, but you have to watch for the raunch. Mel Brooks made the definitive satire of westerns (Blazing Saddles) and horror movies (Young Frankenstein). His sendup of Hitchcock - High Anxiety was pretty good too, it was fun to pick out which movie he was making fun of during each scene. Hitchcock defined the thriller for me. Birds, Rear Window, Vertigo. You can't get a better leading man, romantic or comedic, than Cary Grant - from Bringing up Baby to Father Goose to An Affair to Remember. He and Hitchcock made some classics together, the epitome being To Catch A Thief and North by Northwest. Notorious and Suspicion aren't bad, either.

I like to experiment with foreign films. Amelie is a particular favorite, as are several of Almodovar's - particularly Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. I've watched some of Eisenstein's stuff, most famous of which is his (propaganda) film Alexander Nevski. I also like a good bit of Kurosawa's work, including - of course - The Seven Samurai. (which was remade as The Magnificent Seven.) Other of his films were remade - A Fistful of Dollars by Sergio Leoni, one of Clint Eastwood's spaghetti westerns of his character The Man with No Name.

Do you have any particular favorites? I could discuss them for hours.

Have you heard about the lonesome loser?

2007-06-11T12:46:00.000-04:00

I went to a concert last Friday night. It was one of those bands who have reformed and reformed and, while having - and played - a little new stuff, knew that people are paying to see them perform the music they made during their heyday - and so 95% of what was performed was. Although this group was fairly popular during the late 70's, early 80's, for some reason none of their albums have been re-released on CD. The only CDs I can find are greatest hits and their recent few (which include mostly their old stuff rearranged).

So, despite not hearing them on the radio or not having CDs (I do have some vinyl, but not a functioning turn table) I was pleasantly surprised that I not only recognized 95% of what they played, I remembered most of the lyrics. I can't remember the name of someone I met 5 minutes ago but I can remember the lyrics of songs I heard as a teenager. pathetic.

The guy I was sitting next to was REALLY getting into the concert and at one (apparently climactic) moment he turned to me and said: "I'd totally go back and relive the 70's." I nodded in agreement and he resumed reliving his past.

But I don't want to relive the 70's (or the 80's, or 90's). I still enjoy (some) of the music, and I have fond memories from those past decades, but - I also remember the pain of growing up, of figuring out girls (which I have yet to do), of figuring out what to do with my life (which I have yet to do), of figuring myself out (which I have yet to do). I have no desire to be a teenager again. I was inwardly confused and outwardly a know-it-all. Not that I'm not that way now, but I think I'm less so - on both counts. I definitely have figured out that I am not the world's foremost authority on anything (while still having strong opinions) and while I am still somewhat confused about who I am, I have learned to live with the confusion.

Sometimes I fantasize about going back in time, but usually so it is so I can keep from embarrassing myself, or to keep from hurting someone who I've hurt, or way, way, in the back of my mind to say that totally perfect line that would've allowed me to score instead of bomb. Sometimes I wish I could go back and re-experience the kids when they were small, or to relive some part of our lives (on Crete, for instance) so I could remember the minutiae of our lives, those memories that Laura has that I can't dredge up.

But just for a while. I don't want to give up who I am now. I may not have achieved the dreams I had for myself but I am comfortable with who I have become. I am by no means perfect, and I am not the man I could be - but I am the man I can be right now. Some qualify their wish to relive their youth with the caveat "only if I can go back with the knowledge I have now". That's cheating - I would be a different person if I went back to relive the past with my hard-won maturity. It wouldn't be the same.

Every year (one of) the college(s) I attended has a day of celebration of the founding - and founder - of the college. I go about every other year with my roommate - and still my best friend (except for Laura, who will always be my bestest friend) and we see what's changed and we recall the memories we made there. Some I still remember, some I have to be reminded of. I have a good time, see a few people I recognize, and am always glad to go home. It isn't the same. I am not the person I was then and am glad of it. I worked hard to grow up and have no wish to revert back to the person I was when I was a student there.

Life may not be as easy as I thought it was going to be "when I grow up" - but it is easier. To be me. I'm not giving that up, it was too hard won.

This old house

2007-06-05T16:37:00.000-04:00

We don't have central air. Our house was built in 1947 and we bought it from the (estate of) the couple who built it. So - we have window units in the bedrooms. The one in our bedroom gave up the ghost a few weeks ago, so we bought another. This past weekend I was pulling the old one out and noticed a hole in the window sill under where the a/c was - and the wood around the hole was rotten. I started picking out the rotted wood and used a flashlight to look into the wall and saw - more rotten wood inside. I pulled the shingles off of the side of the house and the wall boards so I could see the stud wall and.........the bottom half of all of the studs and the sill plate are all rotted away. Apparently this window unit (which has been in place since we bought the house) has been leaking water onto the window sill and into the wall for over 15 years. I had s-u-s-p-e-c-t-e-d something when the paint on the plaster wall below the window started cracking last year.

I'm going to save the plaster wall, so I am basically rebuilding that whole wall, sill plate, framing and all from the outside. I will add insulation, of which there was none, too. Since it will take over 2 weeks to get a replacement window that looks like the others on the house, this will take a little while. I can at least close in the wall (framing and sheathing) without the window and then put plastic over the opening until the new window arrives. I was also able to track down replacement shingles - as many of the ones I pulled off, being brittle, cracked. Not to say, they are made of asbestos and cannot be found anymore.

It rained for the first time in a month this past Sunday - when I had removed half of the outer wall and the only thing between my bedside table and the great outdoors was the plaster.

I am wondering who I pissed off in a former life.........

Cars

2007-06-01T14:03:00.000-04:00

***edited to add content***

I had a conversation with someone I work with that turned to how many and what kind of cars I've owned. I was surprised at the number, I hadn't realized it was as many as it has been.

These first two don't really count, as I didn't own them. But, as they were mine to use I am including them.

mid-70's Mercury Comet GT:

(only mine was green. it had the same hood scoop and side-stripe, part of the GT package.)

I got my driver's license in 1978. My dad had just retired from the Air Force and got a new job. He also bought a new car. Since he couldn't get his asking price for his old car, he wound up not selling it and it became mine to use. I had to buy my own gas and oil, dad paid the insurance. It had a 302 cubic inch V8 and a 3-speed manual transmission. It was fun to drive. I drove it for 2 years, until I graduated high school and left for college. The car stayed home and became my brother's. When he graduated high school (and joined the navy) the car went to my sister. I'm not sure how long she drove it - she went to a local college and lived at home, so I expect she drove it until it fell apart or was sold or something.

1972 Pontiac Catalina:

(mine was dark green. I think my folks had a thing about green cars for a while)

While I was in college, I borrowed this car from my parents (again, dad had bought a new car and couldn't get what he wanted for the old one, so he kept it) for a while. It was HUGE, a BOAT. It had a 400 cubic inch engine with a 4 barrel carb and there was still so much room under the hood you could sit on the wheel well under the hood while you were working on it (back in the days when you had to - and could - tune it up. Anyone remember how to gap plugs or replace the points in a distributor?) From our years living in Biloxi the salt air rusted out the back end so much it was more fiberglass than metal. It would FLY. You pressed the accelerator and it would sit down and go. You could sit 6 people in it comfortably. It was also an excellent date car, the front seat was a bench seat and it had a roomy back seat. (I still remember the tap-tap of a policeman's flashlight on the window and frantic buttoning of buttons....). My best friend in high school and I went on a lot of double dates in that car. It also drank gas like it just traversed a desert. I didn't use it much in college, I couldn't afford it.

1974 VW Goldbug:

(not the best view, but I think everyone knows what a beetle looks like. I picked this image because it is the exact one I had)

This is the first car I ever bought. It was 1982 and I was living in Atlanta going to Georgia Tech and my only transportation was a bicycle. Not so good for downtown. I had been looking for a car to buy and only had $2400 to spend. I was renting a house from the Dean of Admissions - who, while reviewing my transfer application asked if I had somewhere to live and just happened to have a room free in a house he owned. When I mentioned I was looking for a car, he mentioned that he also had a '66 mustang for sale. He had bought it for his daughter who didn't want some old car. It even had factory air. The only problem from my point of view was he was asking $2400 for it (what a coincidence!) and I wouldn't have any money left over for insurance. I kick myself once in a while for not buying that car, but at the time I wasn't enamored enough of mustangs to find the extra money. In any case, I loved my goldbug. It had a 1600 cc engine and zipped in and out of traffic. The sunroof was great - unless you didn't close it snug. If you didn't, when it rained it would gather water in the roof behind the sunroof, so when you next opened it and were driving around, the first time you stopped, you'd get a lap full of water. My roommate and I drove that car to Niagara Falls to visit his girlfriend. I parked it in my parents driveway when I joined the air force. When Laura and I married and then our first child was on the way, I asked dad to sell it as it wasn't the best family car. I still miss that car.

1969 VW Bus:

(Mine was Orange - body - and white - pillars and roof)

Laura and I had moved to Texas for my Air Force tech school. We didn't own a car. I asked one of my instructors, who had returned from Crete not long before, what did he recommend that would be easy to get parts and get fixed there. He said there were a good many VWs there. We went through the classified ads and found this for sale. It cost $600. I was familiar with VW engines - something I could fix if it broke - and this would have plenty of room for our growing family. So I bought a book (that I still have, with oil smears on many of the pages. check it out. It didn't have pictures. the hand-drawn illustrations are awesome) and bought my first tools (craftsman, of course)). Laura didn't know how to drive a manual transmission, so I taught her on the bus figuring if she could learn how on it, she'd be able to drive any stickshift anywhere. Anyway, I finished tech school and we had 30 days until we had to get on the plane to fly overseas. We drove that bus from Texas (in August - oh. my. god. driving a car with no air conditioning, a pregnant wife and 100 degree temps was........ an experience) to Kansas City to visit Laura's family. On the way, the starter stopped working. The van would run, just not start. The first time we discovered this, we had stopped for gas. So we had to push-start it, and there wasn't anyone to help. There was a rise in the road just ahead for some railroad tracks. I explained to Laura the procedure (put it in 2nd gear and when I holler, let out the clutch). So, I pushed the van up the slope to the tracks. I didn't think I was going to make it. I am about to give out when it finally crests the hill and it starts rolling down the other side. It gets up some speed and I holler to dump the clutch. The car chugs.......to a stop. I run to catch up and can't figure out why it didn't start when I see that Laura didn't have the key turned on. We were having a....discussion.....about this when our savior arrived. This guy offered to push our car with his. Back on our way, we finished the trip to KC by parking on slopes or not turning it off. (As it turned out, the problem wasn't with the starter, it was with a loose battery connection.) After our visit, we headed off to Georgia to visit my family - with no further incident. We left there after a week to drive to New Jersey, where it was put on a boat to be shipped to Crete. We took the middle seat out and put the kids' car seats in the back. Whenever they wouldn't go to sleep, we would load them up back there and they would be asleep in 10 minutes. We drove that bus all over Crete. We would drive into the mountains and find an overlook and park, open the side door and picnic in the van, with views of the valley just out the door. We brought the van back to the states with us, where it finally died. It blew a cylinder and we decided that it was time to move on. I loved that bus, I have a picture of it in my office:

(not that you can tell, but I am in the driver's seat. This was taken on Crete in a mountain pass coming back from Agios Nikolaus).

1988 VW Jetta:

This was the first new car we had ever bought (or since, for that matter). It had a 1.8 liter, fuel injected engine with a 5 speed manual transmission and was a blast to drive. When the '69 bus died, for a series of reasons we decided that it was time to look at new cars. We had narrowed our choices down to either a Jetta or a Honda Civic. After driving around town and having extremely BAD car dealership experiences I learned of a program our credit union offered. You applied for a car loan. You told them what kind of car you wanted (color, make, model, accessories) and they did the looking for you. No dealers, no @#$%# sales tactics. After two days, I was at work when I got a call - they had found a car that met our specifications. I walked from my office down to the front door (the credit union had offices in our building) and the car was just outside. I took it for a test drive. I went by the house and got Laura to drive it. We decided we wanted it. I drove back to work, told them I wanted it, I signed a piece of paper and it was ours. Best damned car buying experience I've ever had.

We had a 5 year loan on the car. So 4 years, 6 months later I paid the car off early. 3 weeks later we were driving down a country road late at night. It was dark, no moon. We rounded a curve and there was this huge dark shape in the road. It was a cow. I swerved around it, ran off the right side of the road, got back onto the road but overcorrected and ran off of the left side of the road and skidded in the ditch - until we got to a driveway and the ditch ended. The car completely flipped 360 degrees (over a mailbox) and we landed back on our wheels. The roof was crushed on one corner, glass was broken out of the rear and side windows, and no one was hurt (thank god for seat belts!). I was able to drive the car home. I called the county sheriff to report the accident and to let them know there was a cow loose on the road. The deputy sheriff showed up the next morning at the house and chewed me out for leaving the scene of the accident. (I wanted to ask how I was supposed to call from the accident site - this was before we had a cell phone - and was I supposed to wait for them there all night?) Anyway, I got a lecture about swerving to miss animals in the road (like I was supposed to hit a 1000 lb animal at 55 mph?) and a hastily written accident report. The insurance company totaled the car. I was upset - I was going to drive this car until it fell apart. It was in good shape, running well and only had 80,000 miles on it. Oh, well - we were on the search for yet another car.

1982 Volvo 240DL:

Having just paid off the Jetta, we weren't in a hurry for another car payment, so we shopped for a used car. Volvo's had a reputation for safety and reliability and the older ones were inexpensive (read, the insurance payout on the Jetta would cover it with some left over) so we bought it. Plus - I still had all of my tools from the VW beetle/bus years and Volvo's too are metric, so score! I bought a volvo book and this volvo for about $2000. (this isn't ours, but it's the same color and model as ours). It had a 1.8 liter fuel injected engine. It grew on us - ugly as it was. It was easy to work on, despite the fuel injection. It was our first automatic transmission. It rode very smoothly, very comfortable. We kept it running for 3, 4 years.

1986 Celica GT:

(Ours is white, with different wheels)

Sometime around 1996 Laura started working. At first, she worked swings so I would come home and she would take the car and leave for work. But we decided that we needed a second car. One of Laura's coworkers had a little white sporty car and one day Laura drove it home. It has a 2.0 liter fuel injected rocket of an engine and drives like a sports car. We've had it ever since - Laura and I take turns driving it. We paid $1000.

1983 Volvo 240DL:

(I won't repeat the picture, it looked just like the '82 above, except it was green)

About a year after we got the celica the volvo started acting up, so we decided to look for another car. (@1997) Since I had the tools, and a few spare parts, already - we looked for another volvo. This one had the same 1.8 liter fuel injected engine as the blue volvo, but was a 4 speed manual (with overdrive - electronically operated, a button on the shifter). We paid $1200 for it. We still had the blue volvo, I took turns driving both volvos. Laura had a coworker who had just left her husband. She didn't have a car, and she had a little boy to take care of. So Laura loaned her the blue volvo. Laura quit that job about a month later and we never did see the blue volvo again. We kept the green volvo for 3, 4 years.

1989 Volvo 760 turbo stationwagon:

(ours is blue, with different wheels)

In 1999 the green 240DL blew a head gasket and so - time for another car. We spent a few weeks looking when we ran across an add in the autotrader for this car. We drove up to look at it and test drove it. It has a 4 cylinder, turbocharged engine with an automatic transmission, leather seats, a sunroof, power windows, electronic climate control (set the temp and it did the rest), so for $1900 it was ours. Up until now, we had had good luck with our used car buys. They gave little trouble, so we didn't have to put much money into them - and I did my own mechanic-ing, and with a source of parts nearby (there's a place in atlanta that takes apart volvos and sells parts - you can get almost anything from them) I didn't have to spend hardly anything on them. Well.......this time we didn't do quite as well. This volvo has come to be known by us as the $800 car. Every time something goes wrong, we wind up spending $800 to fix it. The ignition switch wore out - $800 to replace it. The ECC (Electronic Climate Control) stops working - $800 to replace it. About once a year something would happen and we would have an $800 repair. But - we still have it. Right now, it is sitting in the driveway - needing an alternator.

1988 Jeep Cherokee Limited:

Christmas 2005 we went up to Kansas City to visit and sitting in Laura's dad's driveway was a red jeep. I was surprised to find out it belonged to her dad - he's in his 80's and it just didn't seem to be the kind of car he would drive. The story was that he had a friend who bought it from his daughter. He really didn't want it, it was a favor to his daughter. Well, he was looking to get rid of it and offered Laura's dad a deal. I still don't know why he took it, though. In March Laura's mom had her last stroke and went into home hospice. Laura flew up to take care of her mother full time and while there she wound up using the jeep to get around in. When Laura came home 3 months later, her dad gave her the jeep. We've had to spend a couple of grand fixing it, as it turned out the radiator needed replacing and soon afterward the fuel injectors, one by one, started leaking and had to be replaced.

As you can see, I HATE a car payment. I've had pretty good luck with all of the cars we've had. Our insurance (until the kids started driving) was pretty low - older cars have lower rates and we only get liability insurance, the cars aren't worth full coverage insurance. I have to admit that the older I get, the less I like crawling under a car to fix it. We just might wind up with a new car when one of these cars gives up the ghost. My goal is to get my daughter out of college and the loans paid before signing on the bottom line.

We've owned 8 cars (I don't count - and didn't list - the two cars we bought for the kids) in 25 years. So maybe, not so many after all.

How many cars have you owned? Got any good car stories?

How can I have forgotten this?

I left out one vehicle:

1971 VW bus:

(see picture of VW bus above, it is virtually the same and the color is almost identical to mine)

In 1992-3 I was spazzing for another VW and I ran across a want-ad for a '71 bus (before the mid-year model change - which caused me fits getting parts). An army sergeant was PCS'ing (moving) and had to get rid of one his cars. His wife mandated it was going to be the bus. Laura and I drove over to look and - bought it. I drove it for 2-3 years and - as is typical in VW engines - blew the #3 piston (the oil cooler sits on top of that cylinder causes it to continually run hot). It sat parked in the driveway for about 9 months when a neighbor must have complained because the police came by and told me they were going to cite me for expired tag & insurance. I just did not have the time to fix it (I was constantly traveling for work) so I sold the van to a local guy who works on VWs.

I haven't had a VW since. I am thinking about getting another!

home again, home again, jiggety jig

2007-05-22T08:11:00.000-04:00

Laura is back, exhausted! She traveled all day Saturday and slept half of Sunday. Yesterday her sinuses started a revolt, they apparently aren't pleased at their return to the land of pollen.

A few anecdotes from her trip:

They got locked in the Louvre. It was Friday and they were to leave on an afternoon train to return to England. Their only activity that day was their visit the Louvre. Having wandered through the museum for several hours time was drawing near for them to leave and they were making their way out. There were a few stragglers and they began to run behind schedule. Finally, everyone caught up and they were in the entrance area about to walk out the front doors when - the gates came down, locking them (and everyone else) in! No one could tell them why they were locked in nor when they would be able to leave. 30 tense minutes later they were released, facing a cross-city trip on the metro - in rush hour. They barely made their train.

They were touring London. They had just left the Tower of London and everyone was getting hungry. Laura was trying to convince them to cross the Tower Bridge, there were bound to be places to eat there. Nope. Everyone was dithering. Maybe they should go back to the tower grounds, there was a place there to get snacks. No one could make up their mind, no one would cross the bridge with Laura to look there, and after way to long Laura remembered a restaurant recommended by Antonia and she put her foot down - they were going to Chimes Restaurant. She wouldn't hear any more blather, she forced them to go. So after quite a trek (and a bazillion tube stops later) they finally arrive, tired and hungry. It was closed.

There were lots more stuff to happen, (apparently they severely flustered an english taxi driver (with an off-color joke) and several french youth almost lost their heads spinning 'round to see an ill-advised, form-fitting , cleavage displaying top Laura's sister wore to Versailles.) We are working on recording it in some form or fashion, pictures are forthcoming. While I didn't get the beefeater hat (nor a bearskin) I asked for, I did get a toby mug of a beefeater - so I guess I really did get my hat.

Meno had asked previously how I felt about being apart from Laura while traveling. I missed her terribly. Laura and I discussed this after she got home and we agreed that it is easier on the one traveling than the one staying home. The one traveling is outside of their normal environment, so the missing spouse - while not forgotten - is one more thing mixed in with the differences in the traveler's life. The spouse traveling is busy with whatever took them away from home, living in a temporary room, eating at restaurants, and either sightseeing if on vacation or working all day. I find if I'm the one gone I miss my wife mostly when I am eating (alone, usually) or going to bed (alone always!) . The spouse at home, however, is missing a large part of their daily existence. The traveling spouse is the only thing different, and so maybe the loneliness is magnified. While Laura was gone I found I thought of her more than usual during the day and the house seemed empty when I got home after work. Even though the kids were home ( my son works swings and is only home in the evenings for dinner or on the weekends, and while my daughter was usually there she was frequently in her room or gone to visit friends) it still felt wrong. This is our home, not just mine.

I am usually the one gone, but this isn't the first time Laura has been. Last year she spent 3 months in Missouri taking care of her mother. I had put that time behind me, but was reminded of how tough it was when Laura was in England. Maybe this time would've been a little easier if we hadn't spent that time apart last year. This trip has also made me much more sensitive to the effect my traveling has had on Laura. I went through a period from '96 through '98 where I was frequently gone two weeks, home two weeks, gone two weeks, etc. The kids were in grade school and one of them would usually sleep with Laura. I now understand why. It is hard getting into the bed alone that you share every night with your spouse.

I will soon be leaving for my own trips overseas, probably a month each. I have been eagerly anticipating going somewhere I've never been, experiencing cultures I've had little or no experience with. I am a bit less eager now, knowing what Laura will be feeling. I wish she could go, but I realize at a practical level that it wouldn't work. Being apart a day or two can be good, everyone needs a break every so often. You would think that the longer you are married, the older you get, the easier these separations get - and to a certain degree they are. But really, it doesn't get any easier to be apart from your life's partner.

confessions of a closet dramatist

2007-05-15T10:21:00.000-04:00

They say that depression is suppressed anger. If that is true, then it is amazing I am still alive. 'Cause I do love to get angry. And I keep it deep inside. I don't mean that I harbor all of the ills done me (real or imagined) - although I can still remember the doozies - it's that I don't express my anger. Instead, when someone says something or something happens that makes me angry, I will later construct these huge arguments inside my head, building one statement on another, imagining the responses from the other party and then constructing counter arguments to those. This will go on for 5, 10, 15 minutes, or so, depending on what touched it off.

And it is stupid. I read something today that ended with a statement to the effect that (what was being written about) showed almost as much bad taste as eating at olive garden. I went nutso. I ranted in my head about how not everyone is lucky enough to have a restaurant nearby that can serve authentic italian dishes (not that olive garden doesn't - I haven't been to italy to know what authentic italian food tastes like), or that some people really like the food served by olive garden and whats wrong with that? I then broadened the argument in my head about big box, chain businesses that may be someone's only place to shop. I don't like what Walmart has done to the retail environment but there is NO OTHER PLACE TO SHOP for clothes or electronics in the little town I live in, and many other people live in similar places. And the nearest town that has alternative shopping is 20 miles away and who can afford to blow 10 bucks in gas in addition to paying higher prices just on principle when they are just barely making ends meet and anyway the shopping alternatives are other big box retailers anyway, who has locally produced goods of sufficient variety today that they can even have an alternative to the big box boys, I mean who has someone in their town that makes cd's or clothes or furniture and not all hand made furniture is of a quality to become antiques, some of it was crap and until ikea came along and offered decent - I mean it won't be antiques either but it'll stand up to wear for as long as I need it and is of a decent price, and, and, and

you get the idea. This kind of thing goes on in my head, and sometimes I restart the argument trying to come up with better arguments if my line of reasoning fails! WHAT is this vitriol doing to me? I don't share this with anyone (or rarely do) as I have a hard enough time making friends without subjecting them to this stuff. (and if only a hundredth of this makes it out of my mouth just think what those around me must endure!) So, all of this stuff turned inward, suppressed - is it any wonder I have a difficult time being happy? I don't know how to stop it. Some of the stupid stuff (like above) I get over pretty quickly - and if I ever speak about it, it turns into something like, well everyone is different and people make the best of their opportunities and so do I. But the crap I go through to come to that decision - argh.

I commented (kinda negatively) about teen-aged angst yesterday and the lack of maturity it shows, but am I any more mature for going through the same angst but keeping it inside? A lot of nice things were said about the lengths I went to so that Laura could go on this trip with her sisters, but inside OH GOD HOW I WISH IT WERE ME WITH HER and what if we never get to go together, yada yada yada - how mature is that?

So - how many of you are internal drama queens too? (how sexist is that of me? maybe I should say drama royalist - is that a good neutral term, would anyone get drama royalty without this diatribe, maybe I should delete this.......)

Jobs

2007-05-07T17:35:00.000-04:00

The other day I ran across a blog where this guy described all of the jobs he had had in quite some detail - a post per job. While I certainly don't intend to bore all of you with that level of detail, I thought it might be interesting (at least for me - as a memory exercise if nothing else).

Here's a list of the things I did that might be considered jobs, but I either didn't have to apply for them or I didn't get paid for them:

worked at my granddaddy's store (free candy, cokes, and anything else I could sneak)
mowed lawns (just a few up & down our street)
babysitting (our next door neighbor's kids a few times, fell asleep listening to their partridge family records once)
worked at a fishcamp (peeled 50 lbs of shrimp and set up tables when some help didn't show once)
cleaned out boxcars (Mr. Y.T. would let me drive his truck (I was 10 or 11 at the time))
worked on my granddaddy's farm (breaking ground, plowing, harvesting, mowing, all things involving driving his tractor over endless rows of peanuts & corn)

This is a list of the jobs I had to actually apply for and earned a paycheck doing:

1. Worked in the fine arts department of the public library.
I was in high school and this was my first real job. It included checking materials in/out, reading the shelves (putting everything back in order), cleaning & inspecting films that had been returned, and a few other odds & ends. I worked every other weekend, Saturday & Sunday. One Saturday, the library was involved in bringing a group to town to perform at the local theater. I was to usher (hand out programs) and was emergency pressed into service on stage as a page-turner for the harpsichordist since I knew how to read music. This indirectly led to me loosing my virginity that night. In somewhat unrelated events, the fine arts director was later involved in a scandal which involved, among other things, him making anonymous harassing phone calls to the director of the library.

2. college tutor.
When I was a senior in high school I went to college in the mornings. One of the classes I took was a basic/fortran programming class. I did so well during the first half of the course, and there being a dearth of programming tutors, that I was hired by the college tutoring program to tutor. I don't think I did very well. I understood the subject but had an extremely difficult time explaining programming concepts to people who had never seen a computer, much less programming one.

3. Worked for a tree service.
The son of the lady my mom worked for ran his own tree service. It was a small operation, sometimes just him and me, no fancy vehicles (cherry-picker, stump-grinder, etc) just an ancient dump truck (that I drove) and his el comino that he used to haul equipment around in. This was a summer job between my freshman and sophomore years in college. He was a bit careless (he dropped a piece of trunk on an air conditioner once, and limbs on a few other things occasionally) and he and I parted ways the day he hit a jaywalker with his car (I was a passenger) and ran from the scene.

4a. Worked in the college dining hall.
I worked here for most of my freshman and sophomore years in college. If you need someone to cook spaghetti for 800 people, I'm your man. Start with 80 lbs of ground beef..... About twice a quarter I had to cook 400 steaks for the weekend crowd - and wrap 400 potatoes in tin foil to be baked. You start as a general gopher for the ladies that ran the dining hall, and this included cleaning dishes, and progressed upwards to cook and the epitome was backing the serving line. This involved managing the serving line, keeping it stocked with food and calling in orders for more food to be cooked depending on a good many variables - the goal being to serve the last serving of each dish to the last person to eat - which rarely happened.

4b. Farm laborer.
again for the college. It had an agricultural school with a dairy program and a lot of acreage mostly devoted to silage. I spent the summer between my sophmore and junior years at college working for the farm shop. A good bit of that summer involved stringing barbed wire fence. Other parts included cleaning out the dairy barn (oh. my. god. the. stench.) and any other little shit-job the full-time workers didn't want to do, so get a college part-timer to do it.

4c. physical plant laborer.
once again for the college. We were pretty much gophers for the guys who kept the facilities repaired. Replaced broken windows, fixed doors, fixed plumbing, fixed holes in the roof, trapped possums (I helped make the trap!). The BEST job was inspecting and refilling fire extinguishers. This job involved signing out a truck and driving all over campus, to each building, and checking each fire extinguisher was full, and replacing those that weren't. It was a given that the water extinguishers in the dorms would be empty (butt-slide contests were very popular). Water extinguishers were refilled by the college (2.5 gallons water, 100 psi compressed air). The chemical extinguishers were refilled by the fire department. I had this job for most of spring quarter. I also got to roam the normally off-limits girls dorms. primo job.

4d. butcher.
I spent one quarter cutting beef carcases. The college farm would have it's cattle slaughtered commercially but processed on-campus. It was primarily for the dining hall, but would sell quarters and halves to faculty & staff. I would occasionally sneak a couple of steaks for a weekend cookout, but by the end of the quarter I swore off beef for a month or so.

5. UPS driver-helper.
At this college we got a 6 week break between fall and winter quarters. UPS would come around recruiting for the busy Christmas season. The first year I applied I had long hair and a beard. I read through their appearance guidelines and told the guy I interviewed with I would shave and cut my hair if I got hired. I didn't get hired. The next year I had shorter hair and no beard. I got hired. I rode around with the driver making deliveries for the 4 weeks preceding Christmas. Those guys earn their money. The guy I worked with didn't eat lunch, preferring to work through it and finish early. HAH. We literally didn't stop from 9:00 AM until the truck was empty - and the last week I worked it was between 9:00 and 10:00 PM before the truck was empty. (he did have pity on me and let me get a coke and an candy bar if it looked like a long day.) In 3 1/2 weeks I made, after taxes, $1600. I didn't paid that well again until after I had been working in this job for a few years. I don't know if it is still true, but at that time UPS drivers were the best paid of all the teamsters. They earn it.

6. pizza and short-order cook.
When I transfered to large university, large city school, I got a job cooking pizzas at a local eatery. We made chicago-style deep-dish pizza. We also made sandwiches, spaghetti (not for 800) and lasagna. Next door was a bar & grill owned by the same people, so I would work there occasionally cooking bar food (burgers, nachos, fried mushrooms, sandwiches). The work was much more hectic, but when they closed the doors we would get a free beer while cleaning up. There was one manager I worked a lot for that would open the taps after we were all done closing. I spent many a late night/early morning getting either drunk or high at this place.

7. Assembly-line worker.
Just before joining the Air Force I worked for a temp manpower agency doing almost anything. after 3-4 jobs I got sent to a grill manufacturer who needed some seasonal labor and worked on a packing line. This job lasted a month and was THE. MOST. MONOTONOUS. JOB. I have ever had. Sometimes I would get a different position on the line, but the novelty went away after an hour or two. The better jobs were for permanent employees and were bid on. If I hadn't been waiting for my delayed enlistment into the AF to end I would've been hired full time. Not on your life. If you ever want to teach someone the value of a college degree, get them a job on an assembly line.

8. Cryptologic Linguist.
I blogged about this job here.

9. IT Project Manager.
This is the current iteration of the job I've held for the past 17 years. I began as a programmer-trainee and worked my way up. I've supported the same processes since I was hired, but on different computer systems, written in different languages. At first I supported hardware as well as software. When you support hardware, you learn to ask stupid questions. (the majority of the users I supported worked in the mills and were not used to computers of any kind.) Someone would call and tell me "my computer don't work". I would remotely log on to their system and everything would be fine. At first I was confused, but soon learned to ask a series of questions. "Is the screen dark?" I would ask. "Is the screen plugged into the computer?" I would ask. "Is the switch turned on?" I would ask. "Is the screen plugged into the wall?" I would ask. "Does anything else work when plugged into this outlet?" I would ask. Only then would I take them a new monitor. I learned the meaning of patience doing this.

The last two jobs were professional in nature and lasted 6 years and 17 years (so far) respectively. The other jobs lasted anywhere from a month to 2 years. With the dickey state of textile manufacturing in the US I don't know how much longer I will be here. If it will hold on another 18 months I might get a job bolting on bumpers at the car plant being built a few miles up the road. And probably make more money doing so.

Ye Olde Countrie

2007-05-02T11:46:00.000-04:00

Laura is in a minor panic. She leaves Saturday morning for her trip. One minute, she's ready, the next, she'll never be ready on time. Par for the course. She has her wardrobe planned, but not packed. Shoes selected (comfortable for walking long distances, something nice for special occasions). Since she hasn't practiced using her new camera hardly at all, I will sneak the instruction manual into her suitcase. We ordered pounds and euros from our bank, I picked them up yesterday. With apologies to our cousins across the ocean, it looks like monopoly money. (it sure as hell costs more, though. The exchange rate is kicking our ass. Good ole' US dollar.)

Antonia (bless her pea-pickin' heart) has prepared a few sightseeing suggestions for Laura and her sisters and has posted it for everyone's edification. Laura is now officially excited. Outside of London, they are planning to go to Bath and, come hell or high water, Stonehenge. There is a 3 day trip to Paris which is to include Versailles, the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, and what ever else can be done in 3 days (which probably isn't much).

Laura is collecting addresses for postcards and requests for items to bring back. If she doesn't watch out, all she'll be doing while there is buying tourist trinkets and writing post cards. (although that does sound a lot like the family vacations I've been on in the past). She's asked me at least 5 times what I want her to bring me, so far all I can think of is a beefeater hat. I don't think it'll fit in her carry-on, though. So, I guess she'll have to just surprise me. Having her home safe, sound, and happy will be gift enough.

While there, Laura has promised to go to a pub and drink a beer - for me. She CAN'T STAND beer, but knowing my penchant for it she will have one and I will have to enjoy it vicariously. There is also the promise of having some "traditional" English food. Bubble & squeak, toad in the hole, fish & chips, bangers & mash. I don't know if (some of) these are really food eaten by the indigenous population or a practical joke on visiting Yanks. Food in France is a no-brainer. A chocolate croissant & cafe-au-lait for breakfast; a baguette, cheese and wine for lunch; and something fabulous for dinner. (Laura looked up horse in her phrase book, it wasn't even in there. She's a bit worried that their trying to hide something.)

So, she'll be gone two weeks and I will be......mowing the grass, feeding the cats, playing with the dog, trying to keep the plants alive until she gets back. Last year while Laura was in Kansas City nursing her mother most of her plants, well, didn't to so good. But this year I have the incentive of fresh tomato sandwiches, fresh sliced tomatos with mozzarella and basil and a touch of olive oil, fresh tomato in my salad, bruschetta, (sense a theme here?) so I will assiduously water and weed the garden, the first crop should be ready when Laura gets back. Kris is taking classes during the summer semester, but since classes are only two days a week she'll be living at home - so no bachelor parties for me. (right. these days I have one beer and I fall asleep watching TV.) Since Zack works swings, I never see him until the weekend anyway, and then he's usually going somewhere. I am working on relearning arabic anyway, that'll keep me out of trouble during the evenings.

So, keep your fingers crossed for safe, on-time flights, no missed connections, sunny MILD weather, no snooty french waiters, and a minimum of misunderstandings (have a fag? no thanks, I'm straight - and married).

Cheers & bon voyage.

anyone want to be me a while?

2007-04-25T11:33:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I hate being a grown-up.

Which is weird because when I was a kid I couldn't wait to grow up. It constantly irked me that I had to get my parents' permission to do anything. Especially when I was a teenager in high school. Twice my parents called the cops to report me missing because I didn't come home when I was "supposed to". The first time was when we lived in Austin. I was 15 and in the 10th grade. Texas required driver's ed if you wanted to get your license before 18. I couldn't get into the school's driver's ed course so I took a commercial one. One day a week instead of riding the bus home, I took a city bus downtown for the class. I would take the city bus back to the high school and my parents would pick me up from there. This particular time the school orchestra had a concert on the same night as my driver's ed class. I didn't want to carry my uniform and instrument to school on the bus one of my parents (I can't remember which) gave me a ride to school. After school, as usual, I went downtown for my lesson and when I got back to the school afterwards I changed into my uniform and played in the concert. After the concert I called home to get a ride and my mom was almost hysterical. What class? What concert? All they knew was that I didn't come home from school - and they had called the police to report me missing. I swore to them that I just knew I had told them about the concert - hadn't they given me a ride to school that day with my instrument and uniform? Didn't they remember I always had my driver's ed class that day? But it was a good chance that I didn't. I had made my own plans and the situation was covered.

The second time they called the cops on me it was totally my fault. I was 17, we were now living in Georgia, and I was a senior in high school. I was playing in the college symphony and had been invited to a frat party by one of the college students in the symphony. I told my parents I was going to the party, they told me to be home by 11:00. I was having a good time and didn't want to leave the party, so I called around 11:00 and told them I gave them some excuse why I couldn't leave immediately, so my folks told me by home by midnight and no later. I wanted to stay and knew I couldn't get them to agree, so I didn't call home again. The party broke up around 4:00 AM, I went to Denny's for breakfast with some friends and toodled on home at 6:00AM. Mom read me the riot act. Dad was out looking for me. He called home after a little and Mom told him I was home. When he got home, I got the riot act again. I got grounded for 6 weeks.

I have always had a really strong independent streak. (read stubborn here and you won't be far off of the mark). I wanted to make my own decisions. So I grew up. I make my own decisions. Little did I know what those decisions were really going to be. When we first got married we weren't making a whole lot and sometimes the decisions were - which bill were we going to pay this month and which could be put off a month? The baby hasn't eaten for over a day. Is he sick? No fever, no other signs of being sick. What to do? Should we rent a house when we move, or look to buy? I hate paying rent but what if we buy and I loose my job? 30 years is a long time. My job sometimes requires me to travel at the drop of a hat. Who will keep the babies when Laura has to go to work? She'll lose her job if she can't go to work. I'll lose my job if I don't travel when needed. I can't afford a car payment, but if I buy a used car will it wind up breaking down a lot and costing as much or more? How do I find someone to take care of the cats while we are on vacation - not just anyone would volunteer to scoop litter boxes. Do I look for another job while I have one or do I stay here where I am sorely needed - but don't know if we will be in business next year?

All of those decisions (and thousands more) were made. That's life, huh? But my teen-aged self had no concept of the no-good-choice, make-the-least-bad-choice decision. And my teen-aged self really had no concept of the level of responsibility I would be taking on. Not that I shirked it - even then I always accepted and bore the brunt of the results of my decision-making. But I had no real concept of how my choices would effect the others in my life. That they too would have to pay the consequences for my choices. I've learned that lesson the hard way. In terms of the two police episodes up above, I now know, being a parent, how terrifying it can be not knowing where your child is, hoping they are okay. My parents had to endure the consequences of my selfish decision to party. I have had to pay those same consequences once or twice when raising our kids.

There are larger consequences to the decisions I make now. I read about the problems the world is facing and I wonder. In driving my 20 year old car, am I damaging the environment by polluting and consuming more fossil fuels or saving resources by keeping the car out of a landfill? I don't volunteer a lot, so am I part of the problem because I'm not part of the solution? I donate what I can afford to local charities, but is that a suitable substitution for not being there? I give someone on the street a few bucks, will that money be used to buy crack or a sandwich? Am I a bad neighbor because I don't pick up that hitchhiker due to being afraid of being robbed or attacked, but I remember my car breaking down in the middle of nowhere and wishing someone would give me a ride. Which candidate do I vote for? Was this shirt I want made in a sweatshop? On and on and on.

In general, I accept that as an adult the decisions I make are made as well as I can make them. I can only do so much, the woes of the world are not my sole responsibility. But when it comes down to it, though, I sweat each one of them. I worry if I did the right thing. Every time.

Sometimes I hate being a grown-up.

Friday Miscellany

2007-04-20T08:32:00.000-04:00

There is finally a tentative schedule for the system installation in Bahrain. Nothing is written in stone yet, but it looks like I will be leaving the last week in May and staying a month. I've been reading up on visa requirements and getting an international driver's license. The Department of State has the standard warnings for any middle eastern country, but nothing specific or current for Bahrain. I'm also trying to find out what is just across the causeway in Saudi Arabia that would be worth seeing. I'll probably try to cross the border just to say I was there. Insha' Allah. I've got my old vocabulary flash cards out and a few of my old text books and have started trying to relearn enough arabic to get by. I am also listening to the BBC news broadcasts in arabic while at work, thinking maybe that if I hear it enough some long-dormant brain cells will wake up and I will recover some of my old linguistic ability.

If this schedule holds I will be leaving the week after Laura gets back from her trip to England & France. At first I was going to be leaving while she was gone, but things so far have worked out so that I don't. Two weeks and counting before she leaves. She's getting nervous - and excited - about her trip. All of her preparations are complete, except for buying some euro's & pounds from our bank. They are looking for a place to have a high tea, but from the prices it maybe won't be so high. She doesn't like beer but promises to go to a pub for a meal and a pint just for me. I tell her she should try some scrumpie but hasn't been convinced. Neither is she up for toad in the hole, but might go for some bangers & mash or maybe some bubble & squeak. If anyone has any don't-miss destination suggestions, now is the time to suggest.

Now if she can convince her sister (who is a nurse and has an untethered imagination) that she won't die of an altitude-induced blood clot during the flight(s) or get mad cow disease from eating british beef, yada, yada, yada, they should have a good time.

I wish I could go with her.

Meanwhile, Kris' spring semester finals are on the same day that Laura leaves for England - May 5th. She only has 2 to take, and they are one immediately after the other on the same day. She then gets a week or two off and then she starts the summer semester. She's doing really well. The state of Georgia has a lottery-funded scholarship program that pays for tuition & fees for students who maintain a B average - which she has. I'm really proud of her.

Zack has settled in where he works. He is making friends there (which is difficult for him) and seems to enjoy his work. He works swing shift and that fits right into his normal wake/sleep schedule. That also means that during the week we only see him if he comes home for supper. During the weekend he's usually out doing something. Last weekend he used his tax return to by a new computer. Sometime or another, when I can get around to it, he's hinted at me maybe running a network cable to his room - but no hurry, after all he still has his laptop with a wireless card so he can still get to the internet. He won't outright ask for anything, he always comes at it sideways. Usually I hear about his wants through Kris (via Laura) way before he starts dropping hints to me. Dads are always the last to know.

Truthiness

2007-04-09T11:14:00.000-04:00

I left a comment over at De's recently wherein I said the following "Blogging has given me a way to reach out in a controlled way - I get to decide how much of me everyone sees....". This was said within the context of De describing how little she sees of her neighbors and how little she feels a part of the neighborhood. What I meant to say was that I was much like her in that I see little of my neighbors and that blogging has given me a way to reach out and create a community that I feel I can belong to. But I do believe Freud intervened and I have inadvertently stated a truth.

The challenge for me in blogging is, much as it is in real life, to be completely candid in what I write here as well as what I comment elsewhere. None of you know me in "the real world" and can't call me on any untruth I might tell. It would be easy to write about myself as I wish I were instead of how I really am. But I don't. At least, I don't here any more than I do when talking about myself anywhere else. Much is said about the anonymity of the internet and the license it carries to do and say anything. But I don't exercise that license. Bob is my real name (nickname), but I haven't shared my full name here nor the specifics about where I live and where I work. I worry a bit about something I write here coming back to haunt me, but I don't know what. I'll never be popular enough for groupies nor controversial enough for someone to seek me out but there is this niggling worry I haven't yet got rid of. All of that being said, I really try to tell the truth about myself and what I think about any given topic.

But I haven't discussed several things here that I might have. There is a line that I have yet to cross. I'm not sure where the line even is, but I am aware of the reluctance in me to discuss certain things. Sex or politics, for instance, are topics that I don't see being discussed in the blogs that I read that in turn read here - so I don't blog about them. It isn't that I don't have views or opinions about these topics (ask Laura, she'll tell you in a hearbeat that I have an opinion about everything!) but I guess the absence of posts about them in the blogs I regularly read leads me to believe that they aren't topics for discussion here.

Don't get me wrong, there is little I won't talk about if asked. But much of the decision to talk about something depends on who is asking or who the audience is. I don't see the anonymity of the internet as freeing. I tend to base my decision on whether to post or comment about something as if I were talking to someone.

Do you have topics that you consider off-limits? Why?

*** This post was really published Thursday, 12 April - not Monday as stated above. I began it then and forgot that blogger hangs onto the original date unless you tell it otherwise - and I forgot to tel it otherwise. I only mention this because I am frequently disconcerted when seeing a new post at a blog I visit daily and it is dated 3 days ago!***

5 Questions

2007-04-05T12:22:00.000-04:00

I threw my hat in the ring for the 5 questions meme, and I got mine from Chani.

1. If you controlled the flow of time, what would you change?

Jeez, we only have @10,000 years of recorded history! I can't decide, so I get two answers! In terms of world history, I would probably stop Archduke Franz Ferdinand from being assassinated. Europe, the middle east and various and sundry bits of the world were literally remapped after world war I in a way that, I believe, directly or indirectly has led to the majority of the conflict (and suffering) in Europe and the middle east since then.

In my life, I would not change anything. There are many things I wish I had done differently, but each was a learning experience. Primarily, though, my wife and children are the most important things in the world to me and I wouldn't change the path of my life that led me to them.

2. If it's true that our choices are a result of beliefs and desires, but desires and beliefs are based on what we are taught, are our choices really free?

Yes, in the large sense. Beliefs are shaped not only by what we are taught, but also upon our interpretation of that teaching. Every person experiences the world in a unique way. What we are taught, interpreted through the lens of personal experience, that makes each person's beliefs unique and therefore allows for free choice.

I don't know that I can accept that desires are based on what we are taught. (they can influenced surely, but based upon?). I don't think it is nearly as straightforward and that this is a question of nature vs. nurture.

3. Does the end justify the means?

No. We should be held accountable for how we live our lives, not by what we achieve.

4. If we are all "special", how does that make any individual special?

We are all "special" in the sense that we are individuals each with our own strengths - and weaknesses. That doesn't preclude that there are those people that have characteristics or abilities that are developed far beyond those around them. Not everyone can be a Mahatma Gandhi, or Albert Einstein, or Rosa Parks, or Benjamin Franklin, or Martin Luther.

If we would teach our children to accept themselves for who they are then we wouldn't have to have these interminable ceremonies where every child gets some kind of award or certificate for fear of them feeling inadequate or left out.

5. For the final irritating question, what would you choose as a universal priority?

That every person on this planet have the opportunity to be the best they can be.

Now - let the discussion begin!