Wednesday, December 06, 2006

now we'll gather at the river...

I am hot and awake at 3 in the morning. I am hot because my wife insists that unless the room is 80 degrees it is cold. (This comes from a woman who just a few years ago would go out in 30 degree weather with short-sleeves on. I think the change must be a-happenin'. I digress). All the way up here she would jack the heater up and down, up and down. I had to take my sweater off and ride in my t-shirt. All I needed was a pack of cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve and a hound dog in the back to complete the picture. I am awake because we spent 15 hours on the road and even after 3 hours I can still feel it.

Here is Kansas City, icy and snowy. Here is where my in-laws live. Here is because my mother-in-law passed away yesterday afternoon. Some would say she lost the battle at last. I would prefer to think she finally won one.

I will be in the midst of family, making arrangements, buying a winter coat, listening to everyone tell their favorite stories as one does at a time like this. And as sometimes happens I will be escorting her to her final resting place for I have been honored to be asked to be a pall bearer.

I will try to absorb and maybe relate some of this sometime soon. I am not talented in that way and I don't have the words now anyway. I am tired and sad and....happy that she is no longer trapped in her failed body. I am not a religious person, but I know she was to her core. So I choose to think that she is where her belief promised her she would be. I take comfort in that.

7 deeply creased, dogeared comment(s):

De Aufiero said...

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like a hell of a trip. So far, I find the rituals helpful in the grieving process, although I've yet to lose someone very close to me.

meno said...

I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law, but like you, i think she won a battle.

Enjoy the stories with your family.

Mir said...

I'm glad she's at peace, finally. I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts, with wishes for the same. (Not death, but peace. Wow, I do have a way with words sometimes....)

Bob said...

thank you for your kindness. even those who wished me peacefully dead.

urban-urchin said...

I'm so sorry Bob for you're families loss. It's wonderful that your mil and wife were able to reconcile before her death.

Mother of Invention said...

I'm sorry you both lost someone so close at this time of year. That is a tough thing.

Bob said...

It is making it a bit more difficult to find the holiday spirit - but we are persevering.